Title:spindle tree Author: mintenergy Rating: PG-13 Warnings: some language. some sexual content. character death. some Edward/Bella in initial chapters to respect canon. Beta: placeofthunder Series: twilight Pairing: Jacob/Bella Time Period: post-eclipse Genre: angst. romance. humor. Status: Complete Category: multi-chapter
Author’s Note: I wanted to write a sort of Breaking Dawn alternative, something that would acknowledge canon, Twilight thru Eclipse, but still have Bella ultimately (and believably, I hope) making the difficult choices that would lead her to the life she was originally meant to have.
In short, this is not a fairy-tale. This is a love story.
Title: A Twilight Fic Fanmix: Choices-2The Bird and The Worm
Genre: Angst, fluff, romance
Pairing: Jacob/Bella
TimeLine: After Eclipse. BD never happened.
Featured artists from: 3 Doors Down, Owl City, Lisa Hannigan, Paramore, Jason Walker, Copeland, Mark Kozelek and many more.
Disclaimer: If Twilight was mine, BD would never happen and I would be filthy rich.
Author’s Note: Consider this my attempt to dig back into my Jacob/Bella writing style. I seemed to have lost it since I started my original stories.
Haven't got a betaread yet, all mistakes are mine.
Artwork by Majestamoniet
“A one day road-trip?”
He shrugged his wide shoulders. “You’re going to leave soon and you’re not going to be back in awhile. I thought you might want to ride around and say goodbye to the old homestead.”
Bella’s heart tripped inside her chest. She wanted it, she wanted to go. To wander around Forks' roads for the last time. Go down memory lane. With Jacob. Her mouth opened but before she could say anything she caught a movement at the corner of her eye. She turned to see Edward and Alice standing on the porch.
Her chest tightened as she met Edward’s bright eyes. His voice was calm and as soft as usual. He didn't look annoyed or angry. The smile on his face was actually encouraging. “Don’t worry about us, love. If you want to go, you can go. Jacob has a point.”
Jacob swung his gaze to Bella and quirked an eyebrow. “There, you even have his permission.”
Bella gave him a mock scowl which got a smile from him.
“But, we still have plans to go over. The centerpieces, the table linens, the food, the guest book—“
Jacob made a dismissive noise against Alice’s protests. “Oh, please. I’ve seen the invitation and if Bella had anything to do with that, I’ll eat it.”
Alice stuck up her nose at him. “You sure you haven’t already?”
Jacob rolled his eyes and saw that Bella was looking at him strangely. “What?”
“You've seen the invitations?” Her voice was tentative, soft.
He watched her with dark eyes, searching for something on her face. A small bitter smile stretched Jacob’s lips. “I wondered if you knew about that. Apparently, you didn't.”
“Who sent you the invitation?”
Edward walked down towards them. “I did, Bella.”
Bella’s looked at Edward and somehow felt...betrayed. Her mouth pressed in a straight line. “You should’ve told me first. You had no right sending it to him and not tell me.”
Edward’s eyes flicked to Jacob who lifted his hands. “Hey, don’t look at me.”
He returned his eyes to Bella, his face earnest but Bella could see the trace of guilt. “If I was him I would want to know. I would want to come to the wedding.”
“Jake isn't you.”
“Hallelujah.” Jake muttered softly. “Look, you can deal with that later. Anyway, are you going to come with me or not? Just one day, Bells. Just you and your best friend. Hanging out around town.”
Bella was annoyed with Edward. Oh, she knew he had his reasons and it might even be the right ones but she was annoyed with him and since she was, the decision she had to make was kind of easy and justified. God knew when she’d ever meet Jacob again, and the next time they’d meet she’d be a vampire and he would hate her. She stole a glance at Jacob and imagined him looking at her differently; with hate and anger rather than affection and love. She didn't know if she could handle that.
“I think…” Bella took a step closer to Jacob but hesitated and looked back to Edward and Alice.
Jacob sighed. “Let me make this simple. Hey, Psychic Vamp. Do you see her?”
“Of course I do, you annoying lapdog. She’s right there.”
“I meant her future.” Jacob elongated his vowels as though he was talking to a three year old. “Do you see her future?”
Alice didn’t answer, she merely curled her upper lip which was answer enough.
Jacob turned to Bella with a smile. “See? You've already made your decision. Come along, Bells.”
Ten minutes later, after Bella wore three layers of sweaters plus jacket, was lectured about safety, forced to bring a cellphone, packed a bag full of snacks and leftovers herself, she finally got on the back of Jacob’s bike and they were ready for their mini road trip.
“Where do you want to go first?” Jacob asked her.
She put on her helmet, waved at Alice and Edward and grinned at Jacob. “Surprise me.”
He gunned the bike and smirked. “I thought you hate surprises.”
“Yeah, well. I've learn to adapt when they’re your kind of surprises.”
He snorted, waited until her arms wrapped around his waist and then they were off.
Bella sighed into his back, she missed this. Missed the sensation of flying (sure, she could have Edward carry her around but he’d be too fast for her to enjoy it), and it was different, knowing that you’re riding a machine rather than a person. She smiled when Jacob turned right to one of her favorite roads. Old maple trees were planted on both sides of it, the road would be filled with red, golden dry leaves, they floated and twirled and streamed away as the Harley raced across the straight length of it.
With werewolf speed, Jacob caught one and gave it to her.
She reached for it and pressed her forehead against his back in thanks. It wasn't until she relaxed that she realized that she was so tense. She needed this. Needed to be with Jacob, needed to spend some time outside her house or the Cullen’s house for that matter.
But even as she squealed in dismay when Jacob reached for a stray branch that hung above, making drops of cold rain water fall on their heads, even as she laughed when he shook water from his hair in a not unlike dog demeanor, even as she felt loose and content as they roared through traffic, a heaviness threatened to blanket her limbs at her realization that this and everything else they would be doing was his way of saying goodbye.
you and I left our troubles far behind
But I still have just one more question on my mind
Disclaimer: If I was Stephanie Meyer, Breaking Dawn would never have happened. And I would be so rich, it wouldn’t even be funny.
“What?” Her knees week, Renee sat down carefully.
Charlie’s gruff voice eased out of the phone and reached her ear. “Bella broke her hand. Well, more like sprained it.”
“How?”
“Yeah, that.” She could almost see him tipping back his chair and scratching his head. “She hit something. Intentionally.”
“She hit something? Intentionally?” That didn't sound like Bella. “Hit what?”
“Jacob’s face.”
She could almost hear a hint of humor in his voice and she couldn't understand what was so funny about it because she was shocked. “She hit Jacob?”
“More like punched him.”
“And punching Jacob broke her hand?”
“Sprained it.” He corrected. “ I've always known the kid had a hard head but I didn’t know it was that hard.”
“Charlie Swan, are you laughing?”
She pictured him shrugging and aiming a grin at her. “Well, it is kind of funny.”
“It’s not funny. Our daughter broke her hand assaulting her best friend. What’s so funny about that? Besides, why did she punch Jacob?”
Charlie coughed and muttered something.
“What?”
“He kissed her.”
Renee’s jaw dropped. It took her a moment to find her voice. “Jacob kissed Bella? Since she hit him, I’m assuming without her permission?”
“Yeah.”
“And what did you do about it?”
“I sat him down, threatened him a little. Made him promise not to do it again.” He paused. “Made him clean my guns.”
Renee rolled her eyes. “And?”
“And what?”
“Charlie, he kissed our daughter without her permission.”
“He’s young. He’s a kid. He’s embarrassed enough already. You should’ve seen him when I showed up. And when I asked what was wrong, he fessed up. You gotta admit it took some balls to admit that to a father, especially when said father owns a variety of guns and just happens to be the Chief of Police.” He paused as he spoke to someone. “ And your father’s best friend.”
“If this wasn't Jacob you would have to arrest yourself for murder. At least admit that.”
“The boy got his wires crossed. He knows that now.”
“Is Bella all right?”
“He gave her a graduation present and she’s wearing it and never takes it off so I guess they made up. I told you, they don’t stay mad at each other for long.”
“Huh.” She went to the kitchen and got herself a can of soda. “Does Edward know?”
“I had to break those two up before they start something right in front of the house.”
Renee reached for a bag of cookies. “How mad was he?”
“You remembered when I punched Matt Riley when he tried to grope you at the office Christmas party?”
“How could I? You knocked off three of his teeth. I think he swallowed one of them.”
“Yeah, well.” Renee could almost see him getting all puffed up in his uniform. Men. “Anyway, if I hadn't stopped it, it would probably end up just like that.”
She tried to imagine the pale, slim, quiet Edward throwing a punch. “Do you really think Edward would do that?”
Renee jerked in her seat when Charlie burst out laughing. “What?”
“I was more worried about Jacob throwing the punch rather than Edward. You should see the size of this kid. Here, I’ll send you a picture.”
Renee picked up her laptop and opened her email. She clicked on the email titled: Sunday morning at the Blacks.
The first thing she saw was Bella’s glowing face. Her eyes were bright, her cheeks were flushed, her smile was wide and her head was tossed up as whoever took the picture caught her when she was laughing. She was holding up a plate of spaghetti over her head while several hands, each holding a fork, appeared from every corner of the picture, heading for her plate.
Renee felt her lips twitch into a smile and the smile changed into bemusement when she saw that Bella was leaning against a wide shouldered, grinning man with dark longish hair, dark deep eyes and gorgeous colored skin.
“Is that—is that Jacob? The one she’s leaning against.” She spoke into the phone.
“Yup. Big, huh? You understand why I worried about him taking a punch at the Cullen boy.”
“He looked like he’s in his twenties.”
“All his friends are just as big. I swear, there’s something in the water back at the reservation.”
Renee couldn't take her eyes off her daughter and the boy-man-boy beside her. She looked so comfortable with him, as if she was use to their close proximity. Surprising since Bella wasn't the touchy feely type. They were sitting on a blue plastic tarp on the ground with their legs tangled up together and their feet bare. One of his large hands was on her waist, steadying her, while the other was outstretched over their heads as if he was protecting Bella (or her plate) from the fork-wielding hands. The scene looked fun and homey and …
“You’re right.”
“Of course, I am.” He waited a beat. “About what exactly?”
“She’s different with him, too.” But in a good way.
Title: The Passing Years
Author: Borntobewild13
Rating: M
Pairing: Jacob/Bella
Timeline: After Eclipse. Essentially, this is my version of BD (the book that shall not be mentioned)
Summary: After Eclipse, Jacob came back, got his life together and did pretty good...then he found out that for the last two years, Bella had been living in Port Angeles, that she was still human and unmarried. So, of course, now all bets are off.
Artwork by MajestaMoniet
---
They were all gathered around Bella’s kitchen.
Jacob didn’t know what he was amused at the most. The different degrees of dubious expressions on Bella’s pack faces as he rattled off his knowledge of Charlie’s kitchen or their slightly disturbed and deepening awe as Caleb poked his head into cabinets and confirmed that what he was saying was true. “Cereal boxes are sorted by the majority of colors on their boxes. Left to right: red, blue, green and mixed.”
“In the next cabinet would be teapots, sorted by their motifs. Left to right: animals, fruit and flowers.”
“On the side drawers closest to the fridge, top to bottom is filled with the usual things: spoons, forks, spatula all gathered together. That’s kind of boring, but she saves those twisty little things that are usually used to close up the bags for cookies or candy or bread. She sorts them out by color into little Ziplocs.”
Brian hooted as Caleb lifted one and waved it around. Mercy snickered.
Those Ziploc was the straw that not only broke the camel’s back, it also killed it.
Lulu took her eyes off Jacob to stare at Bella who had refused to meet everyone's eyes. Instead she turned her redden cheeks away from them and stared at some watermark on her ceiling, she was trying to figure out what shape it was forming. So far, Bella thought it looked like a snail.
Silence blanketed the room as all eyes focused on Bella who gritted her teeth and tried not to let it get to her. Lulu waited a beat before exclaiming, “Bella.”
Lulu said her name like a mother who had found her child doing something really bad. Like, you know, messing up a kitchen.
Jacob tried to swallow his smile. He really did, but he guessed it showed in his voice. “Do you want me to continue?”
She flashed him a dirty look, but he merely took out a mug, poured coffee from a fresh pot—there was always a fresh something in Bella’s kitchen—and met her eyes with a bright smile.
Damien shook his head slowly in disbelief. “This is going to be long, hard battle.”
Murmurs of disappointment and sighs followed his statements from Tina and Misha as they milked the situation for all it was worth. Brian merely ambled off to the cabinets and pull out a big bag of chips. He shared it with Mercy and Caleb as they watched the others, expecting to be entertained.
“What?” Bella groused. “So I like to have things in order. And I arranged things in Charlie’s kitchen so of course things would be as I like it.” Her eyes flashed with irritation when her pack kept looking at her. “What?”
Lulu and Damien turned away, each wearing pained expressions as if it hurt to look at her. “Come on, folks. Shows over, let’s clean up the kitchen.” They hustled as Lulu herded them out of the room. “And we had such high hopes, too.”
“What are we going to do with her?” Damien muttered, his voice belying the amusement in his eyes.
“But, we didn't do anything. Why should we help to clean up?” Caleb complained.
“There’s more pie in the kitchen.” Lulu bribed.
“Excellent.” Caleb elbowed his way to the front. “Whoever gets there first gets the biggest piece.”
“What is your stomach made of? A blackhole?” Tina asked half-seriously. “Is this a Quileute thing?”
Mercy’s voice was nearly a murmur as they all thumped down the stairs. “I can eat pie.”
“It is a Quileute thing.” The others agreed simultaneously.
Jacob snickered as Bella turned to him and crossed her arms, her face red and mutinous. She looked like she was expecting an apology but Jacob merely looked at her. In fact, he was looking at her so intensely that Bella narrowed suspicious eyes at him. “Are you trying to think of more ways to embarrass me?”
“Actually, I’m waiting for you to stomp your foot.”
Jacob watched delightedly as her face grew even more bad tempered. Bella in a temper excited him. Anger looked gorgeous on her.
“Fine. You won our bet. What do you want?”
He sipped his coffee, hiding his smile at the thought of all the things that he wanted from her…or do to her. “I don’t know, yet.”
Bella’s shoulders relaxed and she could feel a hint of a smile appeared on her lips as she looked at him. He had looked so comfortable and at ease in her kitchen and among her friends. She liked seeing him joking around with her friends—her pack. She was irked that he went after her with his stories and weird bets but that was just Jacob being Jacob.
Their eyes met and his lips curved into a slow, sly smile. “But I’m sure I could think of something.”
Bella blinked. It wasn’t what he said, really. It was how he said it, his voice was a mix of chocolate and sugared creams; low and husky and…She shifted her feet at the look in his eyes: dark and heated.
She swallowed and she could feel her already warm cheeks starting to blaze. Thank God that her friends weren't here to hear him. They would never stop teasing her about it.
She heard him chuckle and his fingers grazed her left cheek. “If you keep blushing like that, you’ll get dizzy.”
She tried to elbow him aside but who was she kidding? Nobody could move Jacob unless he wanted to be moved. “I’m mad at you.”
His eyes shone with innocence. “For what?”
She narrowed his eyes at him. “Don’t even bother, Jake.”
“Awwww, don’t be mad. I only wanted them to like me, so I shared some stories.”
Bella scoffed. “They already like you far too much for my comfort. I’m sure anyone of them would give you their first born if you ask for it.”
“I can get my own first born, thank you very much.”
She lifted her eyes to him and felt her heart melt at the way he was looking at her while nerves wracked her heart at the implication of his words. “We haven’t even had a date yet and already you’re talking about kids?”
He shrugged and put his hands on her waist. “ You've seen them, remember? There were two.” He tilted his head in thought. “Do you think they were twins?”
Bella was taken aback by the way he casually mentioned her vision but then her mind was also caught up by the thought. She remembered the dark haired children, how could she not? The moment she saw them was one of the most defining moments of her life. And she remembered telling him about it, the look on his face, and the crushing weight in her chest every time she remembered it. She remembered hearing their children laugh as they ran into the forest, seemingly quite at home in the wild. Like their father.
A boy and a girl. They looked to be the same size. Rachel and Rebecca were twins, so…”Oh my God. It could be twins.”
Jacob did a double take, amazed that Bella was actually considering it, then burst out laughing at the look on her face. “Don’t sound so horrified, honey.”
“Twins, Jake. We could have twins.”
She looked so panicked at the thought that Jacob smothered the smile that threatened to erupt at hearing her say ‘we’ and rubbed her shoulders. “Bells honey, I think we should go on a date first before naming our kids.”
“Oh, that’s true.” Then she frowned. “Wait, why are we talking about my vision like it’s a done deal?”
“Why are we talking and using words like ‘my vision’?”
“Because we’re not normal?”
Jacob snickered, walked across the kitchen and sat on one of the sofas. He sent a wicked grin her way and patted his lap. Bella rolled her eyes but sat on his lap anyway. She giggled when he immediately wrapped her in a bear hug. For a second she thought that this should be awkward, weren't they still in the ‘nearly first date’ stage of their relationship; that nervous, strange phase of any relationship?
“So, where should we go on this date?”
Bella tucked her face against his shoulder, sniffing him. He smelled like oil and musk and sugar and strawberries. When it was clear that she was distracted, he nudged her with his chin. “Hey, answer me, woman.”
“Oh, the woman calling is starting all ready? Soon you’d have me chained to the kitchen.”
“I don’t have to, you already spend all your time in the kitchen. I just have to make sure you spend all your time in my kitchen now.”
Bella snorted, her breath tickling his neck.
“So?”
“I don’t know. I asked you. So you decide on the place. Surprise me.”
Jacob eased his head away in order to see her better. “You hate surprises.”
“In order to survive in my pack, I've adapted.”
Jacob chuckled low in his throat, his chest rumbled against her cheek. “Was it really that bad?”
She drew figure eights against his T shirt. “It was touch and go for a while. But, I survived. Stockholm syndrome probably helped.”
That earned her another smile from him and she smiled against his neck before leaning her head against his shoulder. “Seriously, Jake. Surprise me. I’m sure anything you choose will be fine.”
“I could choose a bar for all you know.”
“Then I’d probably like it.”
He gave her a dubious look and she rolled her eyes. “ I've been to bars you know.”
He kept the dubious look on his face.
“Lulu. Damien.” She said as an explanation. “Besides, being you. You’d never take me to a place that’s not to my liking.”
“How’d you know?”
“Because you’re you. You can’t help it. You’re thoughtful like that.”
His lips curved when their foreheads met. “Am I?”
“Yes, that’s why I, you know, sort of love you.”
“Sort of?”
Her smile was impish and mischievous and fun. Jacob was fascinated…and of course, he just had to kiss her. As soon as their lips met, her arms wrapped around his neck while he clamped his body to hers with one arm while the other delved into her hair.
Their lips locked with no foreplay whatsoever.
Tongues tangled without preliminaries.
Hunger echoed in every touch.
The playful tone of their banter changed into heat as skin touched skin. Jacob’s hand slipped down her back to worm into her T-shirt.
Hers were already on his naked ribs.
Bella shifted on his lap. “Wait, let me—“ With an adept twist of her body, she straddled him and their torsos crushed against each other. Jacob let out a deep, dark growl and Bella let out a small whimper when he nipped at her bottom lip.
Her nails scratched his back and his mouth drew a hot trail against the curve of her neck. When she let out a moan, he came back up and hunted for her mouth.
Jacob was on fire. And he was so hard it was painful. Quiet, serious Bella always managed to arouse him beyond belief. Who would’ve known that she would become so uninhibited in his arms? When it came to passion, Bella was no delicate flower. She scratched, she writhed, she moaned. All his hard-earned control was smoke. All he wanted to do now was dragged her into bed and spent the night loving her.
He cursed when she bit his earlobe hard. He paid her back by sucking her neck. “Like to bite, honey? How about being bit?”
“I wouldn't know.” She muttered against her mouth but she shuddered when he drew the soft skin of her shoulder between his teeth and bit down gently. The soft sounds she made shot straight to his groin. She liked it. Holy hell.
“The first time somebody bit me, I didn't like it so much.”
He frowned at the thought of somebody else biting her but she laughed and waved her hand. Her right hand. Where a crescent scar shape stayed cool despite her body temperature.
Even as if he knew she had survived it, he couldn't help but feel his blood boiled even hotter with anger at the thought that a vampire had tried to kill her.
No vampire would ever touch her now. He would make sure of it.
As if she sensed his anger, she curved her fingers around his jaw then nuzzled her nose against his. His eyes closed as he took a deep breath of her scent and gathered her even closer in his arms. “I’m okay, Jake.”
He felt his shoulders relaxed. “I know you are, honey.” He lifted her right hand and his lips seemed to burn as it touched the scar. He rubbed her back with long steady strokes and sighed when she leaned against him.
“I like this.”
“Hm?” His blood was still hot in his veins but that was probably because Bella was all pressed up against him, feeling soft and curvy and smelling all delicious. Her long heavy hair streamed down her back, still damp from her shower. He played with the strands, wrapping and unwrapping her hair around his fist.
“Just being with you with your arms around me.”
“Well, since I like holding you, that’s fortunate.”
“ I've been thinking.”
“Yeah?”
“What do we tell the dads?”
“The dads?” Humor riddled his voice and hearing it made her smile. Everything about him seemed to make her smile these days.
“My dad and your dad. What do we tell them?”
“Do we have to tell them anything?”
She lifted her head at that and stared at him in bemusement. “You think we should keep this a secret?”
“This?”
“Us, dating each other.”
“Bells, honey, I think they already know by now.”
“How? Did you tell Billy?”
“Bells, with us being in the same vicinity, the end game is pretty predictable.”
She frowned. “Do you think so?”
“Do I think it’s predictable or do I think that they would think so, too?”
She took a moment to think. “Both.”
“Yes, both I and the dads would think so. Besides, they know me so they know I wouldn't leave you alone for too long.”
She smiled. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Hell, no.”
Her smile widened with amusement because of the ‘are you crazy?’ look he gave her.
“Besides, can you really imagine us being together without ending up where we are now?”
She thought about it and found herself thinking that it would be kind of impossible for them being in such close contact but not be together. Even when they had just met, Bella had felt a connection with the shy, awkward boy with the beautiful smile.
She tilted her head in thought. “Jake, were we ever just friends?”
He leaned over to give her lips a peck. “If we were, it didn't last long.”
Her mouth curved against his and that encouraged him to deepen the kiss. Bella sighed into his mouth as he kissed her with slow, steady movements of his lips. Jacob was a great kisser and he actually liked kissing. Bella could tell from the way he touched his mouth to hers that he could kiss her all day.
And she loved it.
Oh, she’d gone on a few dates and had kissed her share of guys but kissing Jacob was just so very different. His kisses were luscious and deliberate and he was just so focused on her that she couldn't help but feel like the only girl who was meant for him.
And it wasn't just his mouth (though that itself was enough to drive her insane). When Jacob kissed her, he did it with his whole body; the way his hands stroke her back, her shoulders, tangled in her hair, held on to her hips, wrapped around her waist, curved over her butt, the way his body seemed to gravitate toward hers as if he wanted to be closer, so much closer to her. And then there was always that low, raspy rumble in his chest that tickled hers and made her...well, you know.
And he has so many moods; playful, desperate, sly, gentle, loving, intense.
But even with his shifting moods, his kisses always told her the same thing:
I want you.
I love you.
You’re it for me.
Jacob broke off their kiss and panted into her neck. “Damn. Incoming.”
Bella blinked the haze out of her eyes and got off his lap just as a knock sounded on her door. “You guys decent?” Tina asked. “We’re going to go home now.”
“Uh, I’ll be right down.” Bella rushed over to the mirror in her bedroom and grimaced at her reflection. She went to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face in an effort to tone down her flushed complexion and took deep even breaths to control her breathing.
Jacob snickered when she muttered something about ‘looking like horny teenagers after a make out session’.
“I can’t speak for you, honey, but I am horny and we were in a make out session.”
After that kiss, well, she was also horny but in no way would she ever admit it.
As they walked downstairs, she smacked him when he patted her butt in a manner that he probably thought of as affectionately comforting.
Bella ignored the snickers on her pack’s faces when their eyes fell on her flushed cheeks and bruised lips.
Lulu noticed that Jake was putting on his leather jacket. “You’re not staying over?”
Bella frowned, mortified with just how disappointed Lulu sound. “Of course he's not staying over.”
Jacob blinked and turned wide, guileless eyes at her. “I’m not?”
Bella froze in the act of straightening a chair and stared at him. “Wha, uh, do you want to?” Then as if her brain caught up with what she just said, her face blazed brightly.
Jacob burst out laughing, reached over and hugged her to him. “Breathe, Bella.” He pulled her with him as he walked outside, and the others trailed after them. Or so they thought. “I have the morning shift at JEQ anyway.”
He nodded to Mercy and Caleb who had the use of Jake’s Impala for as long as they had to come to Bells. They were bickering about over who gets to drive. “No stops, you guys. I’d know if you did.”
Caleb groaned. “He always knows.” Then he frowned before he opened the passenger’s seat. Apparently he lost the keys to Mercy.
“The Pack watches over them?” Bella whispered and Jacob nodded. He walked to his bike and straddled it before inserting the keys on the ignition. “So, how does tomorrow sound?”
She waved to Caleb and Mercy as the caromed their way home. “Tomorrow?”
“Our date. Are you free tomorrow night?”
All of a sudden, several voices yelled from inside Bells. “Yes, she is.”
Bella turned and yelled back, “Weren’t you guys leaving?”
She rolled her eyes when they laughed like loons. “Tomorrow night would be good.”
“I’ll pick you up at 8?”
She nodded, suddenly feeling shy. She pushed her hair back and just looked at him and he looked back at her. Why did she feel so awkward now? “So, tomorrow at 8. OK. Um, bye.”
He stared at her and she shifted her feet on the sidewalk. Why was he looking at her like that? All amused and—
“OK. Um, bye?” He asked her. “What are we? Nine?”
He hooked a finger on the belt loop of her jeans and pulled her closer. “C’mere you.”
She grinned. He grinned. And the awkwardness dissipated. It was that easy. “Bye.” He murmured against her lips, dropping light kisses on her mouth until she laughed. He nipped her bottom lip and drew back. “Now, it’s your turn to kiss me.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “I think I've already kissed you enough for today.”
He shook his head a little. “You haven’t kissed me hello, yet.”
“I haven’t?”
“No.”
“How thoughtless of me.”
“It was.” He whispered inches from her face, his breath washed against her skin, smelling like coffee and sugar. “I was kind of hurt.”
“Were you? Couldn't have that.” She teased and his eyes warmed in the soft glow of street lights. The light shower earlier in the night left puddles of water that gleamed like crushed stars on the dark asphalt and their shadows were long and blended into one as they moved closer and kissed.
This time the kiss was sweet and dreamlike; the kind of kiss that fairy tales were made of but this, she knew, was as real as anything in her life could ever be.
When the kiss ended, it was with a sleepy sigh and her eyelids fluttered open slowly to see him smiling at her, the kind of smile that heated her blood and warmed her heart. It brightened even more when she whispered, “Hello.”
He touched their noses together, “Hi.”
She saw his eyes flickered away from her before, with a small grin, he pulled back.
Bella sighed. “They’re watching us, aren’t they?”
Jacob waved to her friends who probably had their faces pressed on the windows by now. She looked over her shoulder and true enough, there they were.
“You guys better not get any prints on that window!”
As an answer, Brian squirted the glass with glass cleaner.
“See what I have to deal with?” She motioned at the smirking, clapping people who were giving her a thumbs up. Misha even had written a perfect 10 on her sketching pad and waving it around.
I exchanged an amused look with Jacob when Embry and Quil made a great show of greeting me, as if this was the first time they saw me since I left. Their concentrated scrutinizing was comical. "What?"
Quil sighed heavily, his face crumpled into helpless lines so great that I laughed but not soon after almost choked on the my coke when by a slide of hand so fast I almost didn't see it, he passed a five dollar bill to Embry who cackled in triumph and quickly waved over a waitress to spend his winnings.
"Bella, I'm glad, but really, I thought you'd be a vampire by now." He explained. I held my breath, expecting Jacob to turn the table over in anger or something but he merely rolled his eyes.
Quil however, continued to look me over. "What do they feed you?"
This time Jacob narrowed his eyes but merely said, "Embry."
I grinned when without batting an eyelash, even without looking up from the menu, Embry lifted his hand and slapped the back of Quil's head.
Quil took the abuse without so much as a blink.
"Bella." I looked up at the feminine shout and smiled when I saw Sue, Seth and Leah's mother. "So good to see you."
"Good to see you to, Sue. This is a great place." I yelled over the music and she grinned proudly. "Well, this is the only way I get to see my kids nowadays."
I probably looked confused because Jacob chimed in. "We work here in shifts, so does Seth and Leah. There's always a couple of us hanging around."
I nodded and smiled at Sue. "Teenagers."
She laughed and rolled her eyes when somebody called her name. "Well, I have to go. Order something, it's on the house. Only Bella's." She said before Embry, Jacob and Quil could say anything. She kissed my cheek and waved. "We'll see you tonight. Make sure you see Charlie, he's been pining."
"For my cooking, perhaps."
She disappeared into the crowd with a laugh. I looked around the diner, the music was so loud the walls or what's left of it shook with the bass, the sounds of glass, plates and spoons rose higher than the hum of conversation, as was the shrieks and laughter of children who ran over the place. People ran and stumbled over each other, the rows of table were crooked and jammed across every available space without any sort of order.
I love it.
Someone slid along the booth that we occupied and smooshed me against Jacob. Seth beamed brightly at me. "So, what do you think?"
I beamed back. "It's great."
"I named it. From what the people called Taha Aki."
I laughed, he's enthusiasm was infectious. "I know. Very clever."
The three older boys on the table groaned. "Don't encourage him."
"Go away."
"This is grown up time."
They tossed French fries at him which he deftly caught and toss into his mouth. Smiling slyly at Jacob, he pecked my cheek before saying that he had work to do. Before I can catch my breath at the whirlwind of his coming and going, Leah came to the table, an apron around her slim hips, a pen and paper on their hands. "Oh, it's you guys. What do you want?"
Embry stared woefully at Leah. "Leah, is that the way you talk to customers?"
Leah sneered back. "Yes, what you gonna do about it?"
Quil pointed at her with a straw. "We'll tell Sue."
I stifled a smile when Leah's challenging expression fell but she wasn't one to step back from a fight. "Yeah? Then I'll tell about all those napkins you wasted by scribbling your number so you can give it to every available girl." Her eyes glinted. "I even saw you gave one to Kimberly Blackwing."
Quil knew when he was defeated, "Well played." I laughed when the guys threw paper napkins at him.
"Kimberly Blackwing?" Embry asked in disgust. "Are you really that desperate, Quil?" He dodged neatly out of the way of Quil's elbow and aimed a crooked smile to Jacob that spoke of evil thoughts. "Besides, everyone knows that Kimberly had set her sights upon a certain someone."
I perked up at that, ignoring the subtle twist in my stomach--the same one when I saw Amy--and looked sideways to where everyone else was looking, at Jacob.
Jacob lifted his left hand--his right hand perched along the top of the booth we were sitting on--to sip on his coke in a nonchalant manner. "Blackwing who?"
I stared at him but again, like when I asked about Amy, he appeared to look totally clueless and from Quil's, Embry's to Leah's reaction, I concluded that this happened a lot.
Strange, I always thought of Jacob as mature beyond his age and very perceptive.
I shook my head at the sheer amount that they ordered, Leah had to flip a page. When she left I finally voiced the question that surfaced when I thought about their eating habits. "Don't people ever get suspicious on why you guys eat so much? They might think you're on drugs or something."
They laughed. "Bella, please." Quil aimed an amused glance at me. "Do you really think anyone looking at us would think that we're taking drugs?"
I tilted my head in thought as I spread my gaze to the smiling faces around me. Taking in the healthy, beautiful color of their skin, the blue black of their hair, the sharp glint in their dark eyes, their muscular build and the intangible sense of, well, something that oozed out of them like perfume that set them apart from other people. It's not as vividly obvious as with the Cullens who were so obviously something else, but now that I know what the boys were, it was impossible to see them as anything but.
And like the day when Jacob came to my school, everyone sensed it, they didn't know what it was but it tapped into their subconscious that they boys are different, they are dangerous, that they are people that you don't want to mess with. Even now, where people are standing almost at each others toes, the crowd gave wide berth to our booth, darting nervous glances at us without even knowing why. Seth and Leah who traipsed across the room also had no problem of finding their way through the crowd.
I smothered the shiver that feathered down my spine and almost knock over my glass when Jacob laughed and lifted my hand, pulling at it so the guys can see. "Look, she got goosebumps."
I wanted to sink into the chair when they laughed and teased me, their voices getting louder by the second because of my blush. "Well, you guys are something all right." I muttered darkly which only made them laugh harder.
I sighed in relief when the food came and it took their attention away from me. I forked my spaghetti and watched them eat--it was still an experience--and I finally realized that I missed this. I liked the quiet, the calm, and it's not like the Cullens couldn't be rowdy when they were feeling feisty. Jasper and Emmet's annual duels and fighting matches were always entertaining. I like the way we spend time in the living room, in front of the fireplace, either talking or reading or playing music or simply basking in each others presence.
But I missed this, arguments over food with people around the table talking about nothing at all. Names of friends and family tossed to and fro like a game of tennis, threats over who ordered what on the table.
Eating alone can be a little lonely.
It wasn't like The Cullens tried at Edward's insistence but, it made no sense that they have to sit around the table doing nothing but watch me eat. It was nerve wracking and I was bound to do something stupid because of my nerves, like stab myself with a fork or something, so I either eat alone or with Edward which again, is a bit silly.
"What are you smiling at?" Jacob whispered and looking into his dark eyes, I felt myself smiling a little wider. "Nothing."
He looked at me suspiciously but the look in his eyes showed that he understood, he returned to his food and argued with Quil over some mechanical thing but not before he brushed a hand along my shoulder. I caught Embry's eyes that was somewhat serious, obviously he saw the comforting gesture and interpreted it as something else.
I was almost halfway through my plate when they finished eating their mountain of food. Suddenly, out of nowhere Quil leaned forward. "Two out of three?"
Jacob snorted. "Give it up already, man. You always lose."
"Never."
He shrugged. "Fine, more money for me." I eased out of my chair to let him pass and he stood before me. "I'm going to pulverize Quil over a game of foose ball. Stay here, okay? Finish your food."
The bland stare I gave him made him laugh.
"He's happy."
I turned to see Seth taking Quil's spot on the table. Embry still slurping on his coke.
I sat and twirled my fork, looking back to Jacob who grinned at Quil, obviously trading insults. "Looks like."
"You're going to break his heart again, aren't you?"
"Seth." Embry hissed at the younger boy but Seth didn't take his eyes off of me. The words may stabbed my heart with little pin pricks but the tone itself was bemused, curious even, it was not even remotely accusing.
Maybe he saw that his question hurt me, so he backtracked. "It's not like it's your fault or anything, or his. It's just, it's hard...seeing him that way. Feeling it." He shrugged. "I just want a warning next time."
My knuckles whitened around the fork. "There won't be a next time, Seth."
"You sound sure." Seth's was not accusing, but Embry's was. His frown was more than enough for me to guiltily slide my eyes away. "Was it...bad?"
"Was it bad for you when the bloodsucker left?"
I winced, the memory of those months were still a little too clear for my liking. And the pain that I remembered was something that I would ever wish on anyone, least of all Jacob. "I'm sorry."
Embry sighed. "It's not your fault, Bella. Not all of it, anyway. It's him." His dark eyes met mine, frustrated. "He just can't let you go."
Something curled inside me at his words, a feeling that was so close to relief that I felt even guiltier.
"We keep hoping that he would or at the very least, imprint."
Seth shook his head at the question in my eyes. "He hasn't."
"Forget imprint, we'd be glad if he so much as comment on a girl."
Seth piped in again. "He doesn't."
"I do notice that he is a bit oblivious about girls."
"Except you." Seth corrected.
Even now, I could see the appreciation in female eyes over his lean form, the way their eyes wandered over to him and stayed when he flashed a brilliant smile. Caught by the sound of his laughter--the sound of sunlight. It wasn't just the impressive way he filled a T shirt, or the interesting grease smears on his old, tattered jeans. It wasn't the werewolf thing that might as well stamp the word bad boy on his forehead.
It was the grace of his movements despite his large build, the wicked glint in his deep set eyes, the ease of confidence that bordered on arrogance. The contrast of his rugged looks, his earthy laugh and the way his fingers touched the foose ball table, the easy way those long and large hands turned the handles that showed a hint of firmness but also gentleness that pricks the curiosity.
"He gets a lot of attention then?"
Seth scoffed. "If you think this is bad, you should see when he's at school. The girls there salivates over him like..." He paused and I waited for it. "..wolves.
Embry chuckled before it settled into a sigh. "But again, it's not like he notices it. It's like, he doesn't see them."
The way he said it made me flash backed to a particular memory. I could almost hear the waves and taste the salt in the air. Felt again the flutter of my heart when Jacob's dark eyes pierced into mine.
I'll never see anyone else, Bella. I only see you. Even when I close my eyes and try to see something else...
Í felt my chest constrict with a kind of sweet pain that had no place inside me, that shouldn't be there at all. As if he felt my eyes on him from his spot across the room, he looked back, a smile on his face that dimmed by seconds with whatever it was he saw in my face. His expression turned soft as did the curve of his lips while we kept our eyes on each other.
The loud screech of a toddler near by, didn't matter.
The judging and calculating eyes of both Seth and Embry, didn't matter.
The music that pounded over the speakers, didn't matter.
The wedding band that weighed my left hand, didn't matter.
The only thing that mattered was the oddments of memories and crystallized moments that brought me to this epiphany.
I love him and he loves me.
And no length of time will change that, not even the fact that I'm already living my happy ending, that I already have my prince charming, that I got my story book ending.
The beguiling sadness that breathed inside me was almost as sweet as it was heart breaking.
Again, this was nothing new.
We didn't talk about it. Not in the diner when he sat back on the table, not when we were driving to the bonfire because, we both know that nothing had change. That things will not change.
We sat in the darkness of the car, the silent between us was a loud screaming presence on its own, but still we didn't speak. Unsaid words hovered between us, choking the air with tension as I watched Jacob from the corner of my eyes. It didn't take long for us to reach the bonfire but the tension had build so quickly between us that it was near to bursting when we got of the car.
He walked in front of me with strong, silent steps.
I couldn't take it anymore. I have to say something. "Jacob."
He looked back and for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything to say. Not anything that we haven't talked about before. He turned and stood before me. I wondered if the look in his eyes reflected mine when he slid his arms around me. "I know," he whispered into my hair.
Inside the warmth of his arms, listening to his heart beat, I decided that there was nothing more to say, we've said all there was to say, all that needed to be said. It didn't change things then, it wouldn't change things now. We stayed like that for a few seconds more before he snapped his head up. "Everyone has gathered."
He pulled away, took my hand and guided me to the circle.
The look she wore whenever I pushed my luck, whenever she heard something that she didn't like or at the very least, was uncomfortable with.
Well, tough.
It's not like she didn't know, that she hadn't heard it a thousand times already from my own lips. It's not like I'd ever tried to hide it and even though I didn't say the words, I knew that she heard it as clearly as if I did.
There was no hiding it, not from the pack, not from her. I might smile and resume the life I had before she entered it—except for the werewolf part as an added plus—I could pretend around Charlie and my dad and it was easier still to pretend that Bella had never existed when I'm in school, surrounded by people who hadn't known her at all.
But now and again, my eyes would follow girls with slim builds and brunette hair, my ears would wait to hear the loud, grouchy grumble of her truck and my heart would ache when I caught myself doing the very thing that I promised myself I will never do again.
I dream of her...
The cold was starting to transform into mist, it clung to my skin and dampened my T-shirt but I still held her brown eyes with mine.
Would I ever get tired of being told that I wasn't enough?
She loved me but not enough to be with me.
My feelings mattered but not enough to change hers.
She was married. To a vampire.
Soon, she'll be one of them, too. The end.
Give up already.
She has her happy ending. Close that book.
Those words didn't only come from Embry or Quil or Jared, Paul or Leah for that matter, some of those words or something along those lines were also mine but it was no use.
Her words, her goodbyes were not enough to make me stop, so what made them think that theirs could?
And Sam, well, if I mull over my problem with Sam, the hours would pass only too quickly.
Finally, it was too much for her and she pulled her gaze away with some effort, like it was hard for her to do. My name was a sigh on her lips and as always, when she beckons, I come.
She started when I put my hand on her shoulder, either from the heat of my palm, the speed of my movement or the lack of sound of my footsteps. The look in her eyes when she looked at me when I knelt by her feet was a balm to my shuddering soul.
And even though she didn't say it, I knew she still loved me, too.
I'd spent many restless nights wondering what kind of a world I lived in that allowed two people to love each other so much, to recognize somebody as a soul mate but keep them apart by something equally strong, equally undeniable if not more so.
The answer came easily enough; a world where legends are real, where monsters didn't hide underneath our beds but walked among us and stared into our eyes with impunity.
It wasn't imprinting, I thought, but it was close enough.
My world didn't revolve around her but when was gone, she was the mist that surrounded my mind and every thought, the veil that covered my eyes, the song that my heart beat in time with.
The ground didn't move when I saw her but it crumbled underneath my feet when she was gone.
And gravity? Gravity didn't exist.
I hovered, suspended between the world where mythical creatures were flesh and blood and the real world where time lagged from one second to the other.
I held her soft, cold hands in mine and felt grounded, the Earth—once again—solid beneath my feet.
My senses returned to me by the sight and smell of her, the sound of her heartbeat and the feel of her warm skin.
And once she'll go away again—and she will—I will remember this exact moment when I knelt before the girl I loved, looking into her eyes, this exact second when I stopped fighting, stopped arguing, stopped struggling with myself and just accepted that my feelings for her would never go away.
I released the strangling hold that I had over my heart and with it, the weight that had been weighing it down. I felt it go and celebrated my heart's freedom, and it probably showed—showed in my face, my smile, because I saw it mirrored in her eyes in the way they smiled, seconds before her lips did.
"Why are you smiling?" She asked unaware that she was smiling, too.
Because I love you.
"Why are you?" I let the smile stretch even further and her smile also widened. I doubted that she realized it and I surrendered to the golden sensation that bubbled up my throat, and I laughed.
"Jake, what is it?"
I laughed harder and she started to giggle without seeming to know why.
"Jake. Come on, tell me the joke." She said between laughs, her face glowing brightly in the ever-changing light.
Our laughs clashed, harmonized, twined around each other in the misty air.
I sighed, still smiling, feeling the warm glow that climbed out from my heart to spread over my body. "I'm just glad that you're here, Bella."
She blinked, confused, but a smile still curved her lips, her head tilting slightly to the side as if trying to decide on whether to press further or not but probably something in my face made her accept my answer as it was.
I rubbed her chilling hands. "You're cold." I smiled again as an idea popped into my head. "Come on, I have a place to show you."
"A place?"
I only grinned.
After a few seconds when I put on my clean pair of jeans—okay, there were some grease smears but they were the cleanest I had at the moment—and shoes, and after a minute more when Bella insisted that she reacquaint herself with Rabbit, we finally got a move on. Less than fifteen minutes later we stood in front of a charming building—well, more like a well-lived-in shack—that was filled to the brim with people, we could see them walking around, talking over tables and counters throughout the huge windowless opening that took half of the walls.
It didn't look like much but it was homey and comfortable.
Its yard was loitered with cars, motorbikes, and bicycles. Bella, however, was not paying attention to the ear-deafening music pounding through the corner speakers or the screams and laughter of children. Her attention was caught by the signboard of the place; carved vertically on one of the white beams were the word: The Great Wolf.
My lips twitched when she eyed the wooden wolf statue that stood as high as her waist, guarding the entrance.
Finally, after a full minute when her eyes returned to the signboard and then—again—shifted to the wooden wolf statue, she turned to him. "Really?"
By the grin on her face, it was obvious she was tickled by both and she laughed with me. I told her how Sue bought the place and made it into a diner, now everyone seemed to come and gravitate toward the diner whenever they had free time, which was always.
She narrowed her eyes at the wolf statue, observing the protective posture, the detail of its fur and depth of eyes. I nodded when she lifted questioning eyes to me. "I kept myself busy remember?"
"Uh-huh." I pulled the hand that was brushing over the head of the carved wolf and walked behind her so she didn't get squashed by the crowd. "The guys are probably here, too."
She inched her head back to look at me and I stroked her arm in comfort. "They'll behave."
"I don't want them to behave." She yelled back but I ignored her as I waved to some people from school.
"Hi, Jacob." I turned to see a girl at my English class sitting with a bunch of people, again, from school.
"Hey, Amy." I waved back but didn't stop to chat because Embry yelled my name at the same time; they had a table at one of the corners. I pushed Bella forward, guiding her by a hand on her elbows, my eyes at the guys until I sensed her eyes on me. I ducked down but kept moving. "What?"
She smiled. A hand came up to shift her loose, long hair. "I think she likes you."
I blinked. "Who?"
She looked at me suspiciously, as if she didn't believe that I had no idea who she was referring to. "The girl. Amy."
I scoffed. "Amy? What?"
"What do you mean, what? It's obvious."
I laughed, shook my head and shrugged, not believing it. "Yeah, well. I'm taken."
The look appeared again and she inched away but I reached for her hand.
She'd been away from me for far too long. "Embry and Quil already got a table. Come on."
Jacob stared when I got out of the car and stumbled not only once but twice along the gravel road that led to Emily's house, he took my hand with an exaggerated sigh, shaking his head and chuckling all the while. "Only you, Bella."
"Its not like I can help it." I protested which only made him chuckle harder, my eyes unsconciously drinking in his laughing face but the calm and relief that I felt from his safety was quickly replaced by nerves.
"What is it?" He asked when he noticed I was lagging behind. My fingers twisting in his.
I stared nervously at the pretty house that was still familiar to me after all this time, my eyes shifted to his when I felt him squeeze my fingers, naturally detecting my anxiety. "It'll be fine, Bella."
"Bella!"
Curious when Jacob groaned and rolled his eyes, I peeked out from Jacob's back to see who the owner of the strange but familiar voice and managed not to stare with open mouth shock when somebody who vaguely looked like Seth ran incredibly fast toward us, the grin on his face as brilliant as the sun.
"Seth, down." Jacob muttered, Seth slowed down to a jog, the grin turned impish but not even close to repentant. He reminded me more than ever of how Jacob used to be, and also of how I felt every time I saw Jacob before his change. Seth shot off vertically--not as tall as Jacob but tall enough to create a shadow when he reached me--and filled out, very much like Jacob did.
Long and lean like a grey hound--no pun intended.
His dark eyes glinted with mischief and recklessness and my mind clouded with worry of what will happen, my hand that was tucked in Jacob's hands tightened around his fingers.
"Oof!" My fingers tore out of Jacob's as Seth threw his arms around me and lifted me inches from the ground. It seemed that Jacob's enthusiasm rubbed off on him too.
"Sam said you brought trouble with you." He grinned at me, still holding me up without batting an eyelash.
He ducked and shifted his feet, dodging Jacob's hand that flashed out to hit the back of his head.
"Remember that talk we had about tact, Seth?" Jacob lifted an eyebrow at the younger version of himself.
Both Seth and I scoffed at him.
"What?" He asked, offended.
"I don't think you're the best person to lecture about tact, Jacob." I answered.
"I know how to be tactful."
"Mm."
"I do."
Seth and I exchanged glances then rolled our eyes.
"Sure, Jake."
"Yeah, you got loads of tact."
"You're the very soul of tact."
"Shut up. And put her down already, sheesh."
Seth merely grinned and put me gently on my feet before leading the way to the house. "Come on, everybody is here."
I stifled a wince. "Everybody?"
"Well, this ispack business." He eyed me as we almost reached the house. "What are you so worried about?"
"Somehow I doubt that I'm welcome, Jake."
He shifted his gaze, inadvertantly comfirming my suspicion. "It's not you, Bella." He kept his voice light. "At least, not yet."
"Jacob."
He stopped pulling me forward, sighed and turned to face me. "Whatever that's coming for us, it's not your fault. Will you please stop blaming yourself for everything?"
"I will when it stops being my fault."
"You're being silly."
"It's fact. The Volturi won't even come here in the first place if it wasn't for me."
"Fault is not the problem here, okay? We'll deal with it."
I frowned, needing him to understand. "The Volturi is nothing like the new born vampires, Jacob. I--" He lifted his hands and held my head between his two large, hands, I felt grateful for the warmth of his hands against my skin. "We'll discuss fault later, okay. Now, I don't know about you but I'm hungry and from the deliciouslooking smells that are coming out of this house, Emily is cooking, and if we keep discussing about this out here, there will be no more food for me because my brothers will attack her like starved wolves."
It was weak, but I couldn't help but smile at the helpless, pleading woebegone look in his dark brown eyes. "Fine."
My heart twisted when his face brighten with that smile; the one that warmed me up from the crown of my head to the tips of my frozen toes. He watched me shudder and frowned, pulling me to the terrace. "Besides, you have to get out of the cold."
Jacob's smile was sly and amused when he caught me squaring my shoulders, his hand reaching for mine before he swung the door open..
The scene that greeted me was right out of every mother's nightmare.
Half naked boys were lounging around a table that groaned over the weight of rows and stacks of plates, bare feet and huge, half of them were sitting on the counters. I blinked when I saw Colin and Brady waved at me, almost as big and long as Seth at one of the corners of the room, gulping down a large pile of scrambled eggs each.
I huffed out a breath, I forgot how big, how vital all were, it was as if the air was electrified by their gathered presence. They were an eye catching sight all on their own, together they were an immovable force to contend with. Just stepping into the room felt like she passed through some kind of static web that pressed against her.
Jacob ducked his head over the doorframe, dragging me along. "There better still be some of that food for me."
Emily slided up among the walls of bodies, Bella blinked at the ease of how she made her way--a shift of feet, a poke here, an elbow shoved there--toward us. She looked like she was amused by my overwhelmed expression and engulped me in an embrace that I gratefully return just because she was normal, and at least she was smiling. "Bella, how are you?" She kissed my cheek, and I found out that although the scars were still there, still vivid, but I hardly saw them anymore. She looked beautiful to me, and comfortable and at home. "You look good."
"Thank you, Emily." I smiled, simply because I couldn't not to, looking into her happy face but inside, I was still cautious. "You do, too."
"I saved you some, Jacob. It's in the oven." She said without taking her eyes off of me.
Emily rolled his eyes at me when Jacob exhuberently hugged her and kissed her scarred cheek. "Blessyou, Emily."
His eyes met mine in reassurance before he raced Seth to the oven. She shifted to my side, her arm hooked around mine and waited for me to clear my mind. I looked around along the path of desruction and mayhem--waved at Embry and Quil who grinned back, their mouths busy with chewing on something--my eyes went over everything twice before coming back to look at her. "How long till you get use to it?"
Emily laughed again and pulled me in. "Oh, Bella. I hope I never do."
I laughed at Jacob and Seth when they fought over the last sausage, only to lose it to Brady. Eventually, they ganged up on him on the last cookie. It bothered me, how comfortable I was here now that my anxiety about my welcome was dismissed, how easy they accepted me back into their circle. Of course, I also noticed that Paul, Jared, Leah and Sam weren't there, so perhaps, the jury was still out.
"Sam's talking with the council." I blinked when Jacob answered my thoughts. When I stared, he merely pulled at the edges of my hair. "Quiet, Bella. Always watching, always thinking."
"What's so wrong about that?"
He eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "Why so defensive?"
I opened my mouth to deny but closed it again and thought of something to say. "I'm here to warn you but you won't let me."
He shrugged. "We'll get there eventually, Bells. For now, just relax, we have to wait for the council anyway, might as well enjoy the moment."
It wasn't until an hour later that the rowdy bunch turned eeriely silent, their attention orbiting to the door. I paused with a stack of dried plates in my hand waiting for whatever they were waiting on to show up, the only one that went about her business was Emily, who hummed as she rearranged the numerous plates and cooking ware.
Finally, the door cracked open and I held my breath when Sam, Jared, Paul and Leah entered in successive order. I put the plates in my hand on the table when their eyes instantly zoomed on me, their faces quiet and unreadable.
Jacob appeared beside me like a friendly shadow.
From the way he stood beside me--protective, defensive--I know there was dissension among the ranks, that not all of them welcomed my arrival as easily as Jacob had.
Well, that was to be expected.
Even though I was human, I was one of themnow. One of the Cullens.
Not to mention, I have a knack to bring trouble into their land.
But somehow, I know that it wasn't just that, it wasn't just their tribe they were concern about. I already noticed the way Quil and Embry watched us, their dark eyes dissecting every look and smile. I noticed the way their brows lift when they saw our joined hands,--I wasn't quite ready to let him go just yet, still half sure that this was only a dream and when I wake up, it would have been too late--their brows wrinkled when they saw the russet wooden carving on my bracelet and the wedding band and engagement ring on the opposite hand.
Their watchfulness, the way their eyes glued to Jacob's face also gave me some clue as to how bad it was for Jacob when I left.
My heart ached when I felt his hand on the small of my back, urging me forward.
Sam was the one who greeted me first, shook my hand. "Bella."
"Sam." My little hand was lost in his big one, his dark eyes--wise and patient--probed mine. He smiled. "Marriage agrees with you."
I felt Jacob twitched beside me and I pulled my hand from Sam's grasp. "Thank you."
"How are the Cullens?"
"They are all very well."
"Your husband?"
I stared at Sam, wondering what he was trying to achieve with all the question either than to hurt Jacob. If he wanted to punish someone, surely it should be me. "Edward is fine, thank you for your concern."
I moved to greet the others but apparently Sam, wasn't finish. "How was the honeymoon?"
The hum of conversation stilled when Jacob stepped in front of me, a low growl climbing out of his throat and shivered along my spine, my eyes flashed at the two men but it was Leah who was the first to react. "That's enough. Maybe the two of you should go to your corners, huh?"
Maybe, if Leah's voice was opposing rather than tired, they would have ignored her but they backed away without taking their eyes of each other. Jared and Paul followed Sam into the kitchen while Jacob, Leah and me stayed in the living room with the others.
I looked at Jacob's dark expression and felt my insides twist. "Maybe I should go home for now."
Jacob lifted his head at that, I saw the panic that bloomed inside his eyes. "No, it's still early."
I looked to Leah who sighed. "The council will hear what you have to say tonight, at the bonfire. Until then, your time is yours."
I nodded and looked back to Jacob. "I can come by later."
"Why would you do that for? Come on, we'll spend some time in my house." He grinned, shamelessly using the brilliant smile that I love. "Like old times."
At the corner of my eyes, I saw Embry and Quil exchanged glum glances. "I don't think--"
As if he knew what I was thinking--which was usually the case--his face changed, the tone of his voice lowered. "Don'tthink. Other people can damn well mind their own business. We're not doing anything wrong." He pulled my hand. "Come on."
I glanced at the others from over my shoulder and saw their dark eyes following us, their looks burning a hole at my back.
We've arrive at his house in record time and I pulled on the edges of my jacket when Jacob called for Billy, I didn't know what to feel when Billy was nowhere to be found--relieved that I didn't have to answer any more questions or worried over the lack of buffer between Jacob and me. Jacob pulled out a couple of sodas from the fridge and lead the way to the--where else--garage.
I smiled as I followed, remembering the days where I spent my free time--whenever I wasn't mad at him--thinking of the days I spent here with him. We passed through the thick rows of trees and shrubbery that hid the house and everything else from view. It was easy to feel isolated, away from the house, away from other people, away from all the noise.
I screeched to a stop when I finally saw the garage. It was still the same, still made out of bolts, plastic, and wooden frames, but that was no surprise. I spent enough time there that I can probably build another one just like it, but it was the arrays of machines, cars, motorcycles that riddled the ground that caught my attention. Their guts spilled out on and under plastic tarp, wires hanging out of their openings like multicolored veins.
"Uh, Jacob. Are you running a chop shop?"
He snorted, pulled a plastic tarp off of a mangled carseat and sat on it. "I've been keeping busy."
I walked through the jungle of iron and shook my head. "I can see that. What are you doing with all this stuff?"
"It's not all mine, somebody told somebody that knows somebody that knows me that I could fix things and I figured it's about time I made some money for myself. It's not like I can get a part time job with my schedule, you know." he laughed. "Can you imagine me disappearing from a job because I have to phase like some superhero?"
I smiled at the laughter in his eyes and sat when he patted the seat beside him. "Not to mention if some customer pisses you off and you claw up his car or something."
He chuckled. "Nah, I don't do that anymore."
"Do what? Claw up the side of cars?"
He grinned. "Phase when I'm angry."
"Really? I thought anger triggers the phasing."
"It does. " He shrugged. "I just don't feel angry about being a werewolf anymore. I like being one. I'm over my teenwolf angst."
Suddenly, I remembered my latest conversation with Edward. "You're better at controlling yourself."
He deliberated over that for a few seconds and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess." He met my eyes. "I told you this, didn't I? I seem to have a better hold about this phasing bit than the others."
I nodded. "But last time, you were still a bit bitter about it. What changed?"
His eyes shifted, a hand came out to rubbed over his hair. Somehow I know it was something that I'd rather not know. "Because..it makes things easier I guess. It's not just our bodies that changes, Bella, our minds too; things are simpler, less complex, less..." He caught himself, quirked a small smile at me. "Just less. It's freeing."
We sat in silence, looking over the forest and the tattered ruins of his machines, sipping on cold sodas. It didn't take long for me to start shivering and for him to throw a hand over my shoulders, gathering me against his side to offer his body heat.
What he said swirl in my head and joined what Edward had said, it raced and twisted in my head and made me restless. Maybe he felt my tension because he ducked his head to look at my face. "What is it?"
We just met, it's not the right time, don't rock the boat, plead the little voice in my head but I shook it off, there will never be a right time, and our relationship has always been rocky anyway.
"Edward said something."
I felt him still, almost vampire-like if not for the quickening of his heart. "Yeah?"
"Yousaid that we would still be friends, no matter what I am."
He expression was less tense, more surprise and curious as if he was expecting something else from me. "I remember."
"Edward said it won't be that easy. Something about mortal enemies and the like."
His dark eyes swept over my face, I was certain he picked up certain emotions that I'd rather hide. Jacob was younger than me but in some ways he was more patient, more sensible, wiser although his emotions were more explosive than mine.
The kind that heats and blows up in your face before it cools down. Quick to anger, quick to apologize but rarely repentant.
"What did he tell you?"
I tried to read his face but it seems that he had some practice on his poker face. "He said that we would..."
"We would want to kill each other?"
I wondered if I looked as meek as I sound. "Yes."
"Does that bother you?" He asked, his tone of voice oh so matter of fact.
I frowned at him. "What do you take me for, Jacob? Of course, it does. Doesn't it bother you?"
His expression turned speculating before smoothing into the face that he used whenever he was trying to be calm. "Does it matter?"
I looked at the polite mask that he wore, not understanding. "What do you mean does it matter?"
He looked away to the woods, the sky was starting to darken with moody clouds, promising rain or snow. "It means just that, Bella. Does it matter?"
"Of course it matters."
His eyelids lowered and a small smile curved his wide lips. "I guess I should have asked does it matter enough?"
He saw the confusion in my eyes and shook his head slightly. "This is only a grace periode, isn't it? You still want to be a vampire, right?"
I paused before I finally nodded, but I knew that he knew that it wasn't because I have second thoughts but because I was unsure of what he was getting at.
"Then it doesn't matter." He shrugged his broad shoulders and stood, creating distance between us in guise of tossing away his empty can. My body missed his heat immediately. I watched his wide back, felt my stomach clutch at the way he hid away from me. "It matters, Jacob. It matters to me."
When he turned to look at me, his dark eyes were churning with bitterness and pain. "But not enough to make you change your mind."
We stared at each other, his words hovered in the empty space between us. I could deny it but we both would know it to be a lie.
He leaned against a car part that for the life of me, I couldn't named. "Do you know why Sam did what he did? Tossing those little reminders of who you are?"
"He's angry with me, isn't he?"
He shook his head. "No, he's not angry with you. He's angry with me."
His statement made me stared at him. "Why is he angry with you?"
It struck me, that this was the first time that I reallylooked at him since the first time I saw him again, the first time where I didn't see just one part of him--his eyes, his smile, his laugh--where I didn't concentrate on trying to see the shadow of my Jacob but all of him as a whole. His short hair looked like torn black satin, wisping across his broad, mature face. The darkness of his deep set eyes against his broad cheekbones, the straight nose and the wide, even lips. The strong line of his jaw--tight now--his expression settling down to one of youth. I stared at him, stared at how the escaping shafts of sunlight highlight his skin.
The look in his eyes quickened my heart, made the blood under my skin rushed faster. A part of me twisted in guilt and despair for his pain while another part, a part that has been dormant this last few months, turned restlessly and sighed.
He still loves me, parts of me agreed on the same conclusion although the feeling that resulted from it were so very different.
I wondered why that was such a surprise, after all, ever since I knew him, when everything else changed, his feelings for me was the one thing that hadn't.
