JacobPOV
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There it is.
The look she wore whenever I pushed my luck, whenever she heard something that she didn't like or at the very least, was uncomfortable with.
Well, tough.
It's not like she didn't know, that she hadn't heard it a thousand times already from my own lips. It's not like I'd ever tried to hide it and even though I didn't say the words, I knew that she heard it as clearly as if I did.
There was no hiding it, not from the pack, not from her. I might smile and resume the life I had before she entered it—except for the werewolf part as an added plus—I could pretend around Charlie and my dad and it was easier still to pretend that Bella had never existed when I'm in school, surrounded by people who hadn't known her at all.
But now and again, my eyes would follow girls with slim builds and brunette hair, my ears would wait to hear the loud, grouchy grumble of her truck and my heart would ache when I caught myself doing the very thing that I promised myself I will never do again.
I dream of her...
The cold was starting to transform into mist, it clung to my skin and dampened my T-shirt but I still held her brown eyes with mine.
Would I ever get tired of being told that I wasn't enough?
She loved me but not enough to be with me.
My feelings mattered but not enough to change hers.
She was married. To a vampire.
Soon, she'll be one of them, too. The end.
Give up already.
She has her happy ending. Close that book.
Those words didn't only come from Embry or Quil or Jared, Paul or Leah for that matter, some of those words or something along those lines were also mine but it was no use.
Her words, her goodbyes were not enough to make me stop, so what made them think that theirs could?
And Sam, well, if I mull over my problem with Sam, the hours would pass only too quickly.
Finally, it was too much for her and she pulled her gaze away with some effort, like it was hard for her to do. My name was a sigh on her lips and as always, when she beckons, I come.
She started when I put my hand on her shoulder, either from the heat of my palm, the speed of my movement or the lack of sound of my footsteps. The look in her eyes when she looked at me when I knelt by her feet was a balm to my shuddering soul.
And even though she didn't say it, I knew she still loved me, too.
I'd spent many restless nights wondering what kind of a world I lived in that allowed two people to love each other so much, to recognize somebody as a soul mate but keep them apart by something equally strong, equally undeniable if not more so.
The answer came easily enough; a world where legends are real, where monsters didn't hide underneath our beds but walked among us and stared into our eyes with impunity.
It wasn't imprinting, I thought, but it was close enough.
My world didn't revolve around her but when was gone, she was the mist that surrounded my mind and every thought, the veil that covered my eyes, the song that my heart beat in time with.
The ground didn't move when I saw her but it crumbled underneath my feet when she was gone.
And gravity? Gravity didn't exist.
I hovered, suspended between the world where mythical creatures were flesh and blood and the real world where time lagged from one second to the other.
I held her soft, cold hands in mine and felt grounded, the Earth—once again—solid beneath my feet.
My senses returned to me by the sight and smell of her, the sound of her heartbeat and the feel of her warm skin.
And once she'll go away again—and she will—I will remember this exact moment when I knelt before the girl I loved, looking into her eyes, this exact second when I stopped fighting, stopped arguing, stopped struggling with myself and just accepted that my feelings for her would never go away.
I released the strangling hold that I had over my heart and with it, the weight that had been weighing it down. I felt it go and celebrated my heart's freedom, and it probably showed—showed in my face, my smile, because I saw it mirrored in her eyes in the way they smiled, seconds before her lips did.
"Why are you smiling?" She asked unaware that she was smiling, too.
Because I love you.
"Why are you?" I let the smile stretch even further and her smile also widened. I doubted that she realized it and I surrendered to the golden sensation that bubbled up my throat, and I laughed.
"Jake, what is it?"
I laughed harder and she started to giggle without seeming to know why.
"Jake. Come on, tell me the joke." She said between laughs, her face glowing brightly in the ever-changing light.
Our laughs clashed, harmonized, twined around each other in the misty air.
I sighed, still smiling, feeling the warm glow that climbed out from my heart to spread over my body. "I'm just glad that you're here, Bella."
She blinked, confused, but a smile still curved her lips, her head tilting slightly to the side as if trying to decide on whether to press further or not but probably something in my face made her accept my answer as it was.
I rubbed her chilling hands. "You're cold." I smiled again as an idea popped into my head. "Come on, I have a place to show you."
"A place?"
I only grinned.
After a few seconds when I put on my clean pair of jeans—okay, there were some grease smears but they were the cleanest I had at the moment—and shoes, and after a minute more when Bella insisted that she reacquaint herself with Rabbit, we finally got a move on. Less than fifteen minutes later we stood in front of a charming building—well, more like a well-lived-in shack—that was filled to the brim with people, we could see them walking around, talking over tables and counters throughout the huge windowless opening that took half of the walls.
It didn't look like much but it was homey and comfortable.
Its yard was loitered with cars, motorbikes, and bicycles. Bella, however, was not paying attention to the ear-deafening music pounding through the corner speakers or the screams and laughter of children. Her attention was caught by the signboard of the place; carved vertically on one of the white beams were the word: The Great Wolf.
My lips twitched when she eyed the wooden wolf statue that stood as high as her waist, guarding the entrance.
Finally, after a full minute when her eyes returned to the signboard and then—again—shifted to the wooden wolf statue, she turned to him. "Really?"
By the grin on her face, it was obvious she was tickled by both and she laughed with me. I told her how Sue bought the place and made it into a diner, now everyone seemed to come and gravitate toward the diner whenever they had free time, which was always.
She narrowed her eyes at the wolf statue, observing the protective posture, the detail of its fur and depth of eyes. I nodded when she lifted questioning eyes to me. "I kept myself busy remember?"
"Uh-huh." I pulled the hand that was brushing over the head of the carved wolf and walked behind her so she didn't get squashed by the crowd. "The guys are probably here, too."
She inched her head back to look at me and I stroked her arm in comfort. "They'll behave."
"I don't want them to behave." She yelled back but I ignored her as I waved to some people from school.
"Hi, Jacob." I turned to see a girl at my English class sitting with a bunch of people, again, from school.
"Hey, Amy." I waved back but didn't stop to chat because Embry yelled my name at the same time; they had a table at one of the corners. I pushed Bella forward, guiding her by a hand on her elbows, my eyes at the guys until I sensed her eyes on me. I ducked down but kept moving. "What?"
She smiled. A hand came up to shift her loose, long hair. "I think she likes you."
I blinked. "Who?"
She looked at me suspiciously, as if she didn't believe that I had no idea who she was referring to. "The girl. Amy."
I scoffed. "Amy? What?"
"What do you mean, what? It's obvious."
I laughed, shook my head and shrugged, not believing it. "Yeah, well. I'm taken."
The look appeared again and she inched away but I reached for her hand.
She'd been away from me for far too long. "Embry and Quil already got a table. Come on."
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