When you mess with people that you care about, you tend to mess yourself up in the process.
But, he rubbed a hand over his mouth, he couldn’t seem to regret it. He glanced at the rear-view mirror and saw the grin he had on his face, which only made him grin even wider. He chuckled when he remembered the expression on Bella’s face, man, she was pissed.
Then another expression of hers popped in his mind; her mouth bruised, her eyes dark, her face flushed.
He shifted in his seat and rolled the window open, gulping in the cool night air.
Jacob shook his head to clear the haze that covered his mind, but every time he moved, every time he breathed, her scent tangled in his lungs, tightening his muscles. The taste of her was still thick on his tongue; ripe, hot and sweet.
An image of the flush that climbed slowly up her collarbone to her cheeks, a flash of how it would look on her entire body, under his hands, made him press harder on the gas pedal.
He whipped through the slick night roads and arrived in his driveway in record time.
Jacob winced when he heard the very unladylike curses that spewed out of his sister's mouth as she gave their old TV a few love taps.
Rachel and technology did not suit.
"Geez, Jake. Why can't you buy something new? It's not like you can't afford it."
"I'm sentimental."
"Stingy bastard." Finally Rachel's dark eyes shifted from the TV to her brother, scrutinizing him as he ducked his head inside the fridge. Jacob was uncomfortably suspicious that she could see the X-rated thoughts that riddled his head just a few seconds ago.
"What took you so long?"
He ignored the loaded question and reached for a beer. "Where's Dad?"
"Asleep."
"His back still bothering him?"
"Yeah, but he pretended it didn't."
"Stubborn old man."
Jacob's dark eyes weighed his sister's focused face and decided that escape was not an option.
"Did you have sex with her?"
Jacob choked and coughed his protest with teary eyes he gaped at his sister. "Christ, Rach. What kind of a question is that?"
Rachel merely strode to him and smacked his back hard, stared at her stinging hand and frowned at him. "Why her, Jake?"
Jacob drew a breath. "Rach—"
She lifted a hand. "I'm serious. I'm not acting out on some kind of dutiful sister obligation here. I see that you love her, but I also see Dad's face, Leah's, everybody's face, when her name pops up in conversation. Everybody tiptoes around you and holds their breath whenever she’s mentioned."
The wrinkles on her forehead deepened. "I don't know the whole story, but I know it was bad. I only need to see you—" She huffed out a breath and shifted her feet. "I don't want to see you get hurt, that's all." She finished lamely.
Touched, but also irritated, Jacob sighed and merely let the silence stretch on.
"Well," She shrugged. "I'm going to bed. You?"
"Patrol."
She nodded before turning.
"Hey, Rach."
Rachel stopped at the tentative tone in Jacob's voice and looked over her shoulder.
"She loves me too."
Something shifted inside of Rachel's chest; worry laced with sadness. "Yeah. I saw that." Because he looked like he needed it, she moved her lips into a smirk. "Why do you think I haven't ripped off her arms and beaten her with them?"
He snorted. "Nice. Graphic."
She continued walking. "Night, baby bro."
Rachel hadn't been gone for two minutes when Leah cantered in. Jacob suspected it was his day of being nagged by the women in his life.
He lifted his brows at the sight of her. It wasn't the black sports bra or the black faded shorts, it was her new hairdo.
Leah's hair was a sassy black cap on her head, short spikes stuck on the top. The cut emphasized all the sharp angles of her face and her big golden eyes.
"Soon, you won't have any hair left."
Her feet didn't stop until she was in the kitchen with him. It was a worrying habit with all the werewolves.
First stop, kitchen.
She ran a hand over her head, messing it up. "Got tired out of picking dead leaves and sticks out of it."
He pressed his lips together and didn't comment. He knew why she kept cutting her hair shorter and shorter. He knew she knew that he knew, so he kept his mouth shut.
Sam loved her hair, and it pricked Sam's heart to see her cut it.
Jacob couldn't quite disapprove of her cheap, spiteful shots. Didn't he do exactly the same thing?
She needed to get her fun from somewhere.
Jacob winced when she froze and sniffed, turning to him in a sharp, almost too fast movement for his eyes to follow. "She's on your skin."
Crap, I knew I should've showered. "I think the appropriate term for that is under your skin."
She leaned closer and sniffed. "She's not only on your clothes. Her scent is on your skin." She lifted her eyes to stare at him. "Did you—?"
"Why the sudden interest with my sex life?"
"It's not some sort of morbid curiosity, I just don't want to have some stray image of you doing the naked tango with Bella Swan, alright?" She paused then grimaced as something occurred to her. "Or dreaming of myself doing the naked tango with her." She shuddered. "Ugh."
Leah narrowed her eyes on the blank expression on Jacob's face, unusually knowledgeable about the twisted minds of men, she kicked his shin. "Men are pigs."
Jacob crossed his legs at the ankles and chuckled, remembering Leah's violent reaction to each and every sex fantasy that had leaked into her mind. Not that he enjoyed peeking into the frenzied mind of their brothers, but it was worse for her.
He sympathized with Leah whenever Seth projected some visually graphic fantasy of his, and then he would sympathize with Seth whenever Leah socked him on the stomach.
He was especially grateful that he had never had to endure Sam's thoughts of Emily. Somehow that was equivalent to seeing his parents...his mind shied away from that train of thought. He caught sight of Leah rummaging for food. Very, very grateful that he never had to endure that.
Leah was still a bitch, no pun intended, sharp-tongued and ruthless, especially when riled. She still didn't quite belong, and Jacob was doubtful if she ever would.
Being the only female werewolf in the history of their tribe wasn't quite an accomplishment as some would think. He knew she felt more like a freak than any of them. An outcast. An intruder.
Like being a werewolf isn't enough weirdness to handle for a lifetime, she had to be the only one of her kind.
Then to add insult to injury, the pack Alpha was her ex-boyfriend, who had thrown her over for her cousin.
It wasn't enough that Sam had betrayed her, Emily had also turned her back on her.
If Jacob hated the lack of privacy, the lack of choice, Leah had resented it and he couldn't blame her.
She no longer had any place for delicacy in her life, not even an illusion of one; her mind, her body, her feelings, her life was an open book to any of them.
They tried to give her space, especially in phasing. It was made even more awkward as Sam bristled every time one of them caught even a glimpse of her, and he knew some of those random accidental phasing were not quite so random and not quite so accidental, every time spite overrode her embarrassment.
Leah and Jacob had their bad patches, but he understood, really, he did. Of all people, he knew that Leah had understood his pain better than most. It was one of the reasons why he tried so hard to be nice to her, not just because of the connection between two broken hearts, but also because of guilt. He knew why Leah had poked and prodded his wounds, because feeling his pain had abraded her own wounds.
It was like seeing herself bleeding and broken, pathetically hurt, rejected, weak. Seeing him like that was a blow to the face that made her screw you attitude, which she wrapped around herself to deal with the pity, the pain, the snickers behind her back, crack and crumble beneath her feet.
His pain had only managed to intensify hers, and the only thing she could do to handle it was to lash back.
If it was bad for the others to feel what he felt, it was even worse for her. She understood.
She was hurting as bad as he was.
Even Embry, the usual victim of Leah's spiteful demeanor, had to admit that she was better now, softer somehow, though her edges were still sharp and could draw blood, and it definitely helped that Jacob was Alpha now and not Sam.
He understood now why people say office romances are a bad, bad idea. It was hard not to be resentful when the person who dumped you could boss you around and you couldn't say no.
He eyed the older girl, who had dug out a packet of chips and was tearing into it like the wolf she was.
"The others are probably at the end of their designated areas already." Considering the pack’s size, Jake had felt justified on dividing their numbers on patrol. Sam would take the twins along; Quil, Paul and Embry made the second group; Jared, Quil and Seth made the third; while he and Leah were the fourth.
She was better, but she still grated on everybody's nerves.
Divided, they made good time, since they more ground to cover than ever. The Cullens were no longer here, a fact that he was grateful for every day, so the boundary line was non-existent. They were no longer in high school, where all they needed to do was sit in class and concentrate so as not to phase and kill someone. They had jobs now, responsibilities that you couldn't maintain when you were tired and sleep-deprived.
"We should do a quick runaround and head for the grounds to meet up." She said around the chips that she stuffed inside her mouth.
"You OK with me seeing Bella?"
Her eyebrows met her hairline. "Oh, is that what you kids were doing?" Leah wiped her mouth and weighed his expression. " You're asking for my opinion?"
Jacob shrugged. "Yeah."
"You going to get pissy if you don't like what I say?"
"Most likely."
She leaned against the fridge and mimicked his pose. Body relaxed, ankles crossed. Jacob's lips twisted with irritation at her exaggerated thinking expression. "It's a bad idea, considering how she pulverized you the last time you guys danced." She shrugged and stuffed more chips down her throat. "But you know that."
"She's bad for you, and by association, she's bad for the pack, but again, you know that." Her eyes focused on some imaginary point at the wall behind him. "There's nothing I can say that you haven't thought of or heard already."
Both of them pondered on the truth of that, then simultaneously shrugged. Silence stretched, filled by the crinkle of plastic and Leah's munching.
"I'm thinking of stopping."
Jacob lifted the bottle to his lips and glanced at her. "Hm, stopping what?"
When Leah kept her eyes away from him, his hand paused halfway to his mouth. His stomach clenched. "Phasing? You're going to stop phasing?"
Her eyes shifted to his before shifting back to the imaginary spot. "It's not like you need me. More often than not, I hurt the pack. I'm a weak link and…" She stopped. "I'm making excuses." With what looked like a great effort, she dragged her eyes to look straight at Jacob, leaving left no doubts about her meaning every word. "Truth?"
Not knowing what to say quite yet, Jacob nodded.
"I just want out."
"Why?"
"Other than you're bound to screw up and will probably mope around again?"
When Jacob merely stared, she sighed. "I just want out. I want…" She frowned. "I want..."
"To be free."
She made a move to rub her forehead, but remembered her hands were covered with crumbs, instead she reached for more chips. "Yeah." She munched, then bit her lip. "Sorry."
"For what?"
"I feel like." She swallowed. "Like I'm betraying—"
"You're not."
"Yes, I am. Being a werewolf is different for me than what it is to you and the others." As if she realized how that sounded, she lifted her eyes to Jacob's. "I didn't mean it's not hard for you guys—"
"I knew what you meant."
Her shoulders relaxed. "I don't...belong. You're family, all of you are and I feel that, and most days I'm glad for it. I'd die for any one of you and I believe in protecting humans from vampires. I believe in what we stand for." Her shoulders straightened, her expression grave. "Live for the family. Die for the cause." She recited respectfully. "I believe in that." She shook her head as her shoulders slumped. "But I need..."
"I know. I understand."
She threw him a half-smile. "I know you do. I told you first not just because you're Alpha, but because you're a friend." Her brow wrinkled. "Sort of."
Jacob scoffed and took a long pull out of his bottle. "So, this is your two weeks’ notice?"
"Hardly. It's probably going to be years before I could eventually stop, but I'm going to do my hardest."
"You know I won't stop you, anyone of you, if that's what you want." Jacob watched as she nodded as if his words were a given. "But you know who would."
Her lips firmed and Jacob could actually hear the snap of her spine. "He doesn't have any say in it."
"Doesn't he?"
"No."
"You're saying that he didn't influence your decision whatsoever?"
She kept her face away as the silence lengthened between them, the pack of chips forgotten in her hand. "In some ways, I preferred when he was Alpha." She waved a hand. "Oh, I hated him, hated everything and every small rebellion I could think of was a victorious 'in your face". He made it easy to do that because...he was different. He was Alpha Sam, he was..." Her face twisted as she tried to find the words. "He wasn't the Sam that..." That I fell in love with. The Sam that loved me. "...I knew." Her mouth opened, closed before it opened again. "But now that he's just..."
Cold hands, closed eyes, sleepy whispers, Jacob. My Jacob. Jacob drew a breath into his constricted lungs. "One of the wolves."
She spared him a glance and a smile. "I can't look at him without remembering and it..." Hurts. Horribly. "He's married. Emily's pregnant. I was her maid of honor, for God's sake. It's over. Way over. But I can't..."
Jacob's heart twisted at the smile that didn't belong on a face so young and full of promise. "He still loves me." Her eyes returned to his, naked and raw, her voice quiet and solemn, with a trace of stinging pleasure. "That makes it hurt less... and more. At the same time."
Jacob's voice was a thoughtful whisper that clung to the air and hovered. "It does, doesn't it?"
He saw the dark humor on Leah's face. "It's scary how parallel our lives are going, isn't it?"
He chuckled. "I'm trying not to think about it."
She shifted in place. "You still have a chance, Jake."
"If you were me..."
"You wouldn’t see me for the dust."
He nodded, then nodded again. He finished his beer and pushed away from the counter. "I'm gonna take a shower."
She snorted as she peeked into the depths of her pack of chips. "You better. You smell like you rolled naked on her."
His steps faltered before his feet continued moving. "Make that a cold shower."
"Pig." She muttered. "Say, Jake." She called out when he was halfway to the bathroom. "You know if you talk about me getting mushy, I'm going to feel duty-bound to pound on you, right?"
Jacob scoffed. "Bring it while you still can, Leah."
"I think I'm gonna start on Quil." she muttered as she licked her fingers.
Jacob laughed as he closed the bathroom door.
But, he rubbed a hand over his mouth, he couldn’t seem to regret it. He glanced at the rear-view mirror and saw the grin he had on his face, which only made him grin even wider. He chuckled when he remembered the expression on Bella’s face, man, she was pissed.
Then another expression of hers popped in his mind; her mouth bruised, her eyes dark, her face flushed.
He shifted in his seat and rolled the window open, gulping in the cool night air.
Jacob shook his head to clear the haze that covered his mind, but every time he moved, every time he breathed, her scent tangled in his lungs, tightening his muscles. The taste of her was still thick on his tongue; ripe, hot and sweet.
An image of the flush that climbed slowly up her collarbone to her cheeks, a flash of how it would look on her entire body, under his hands, made him press harder on the gas pedal.
He whipped through the slick night roads and arrived in his driveway in record time.
Jacob winced when he heard the very unladylike curses that spewed out of his sister's mouth as she gave their old TV a few love taps.
Rachel and technology did not suit.
"Geez, Jake. Why can't you buy something new? It's not like you can't afford it."
"I'm sentimental."
"Stingy bastard." Finally Rachel's dark eyes shifted from the TV to her brother, scrutinizing him as he ducked his head inside the fridge. Jacob was uncomfortably suspicious that she could see the X-rated thoughts that riddled his head just a few seconds ago.
"What took you so long?"
He ignored the loaded question and reached for a beer. "Where's Dad?"
"Asleep."
"His back still bothering him?"
"Yeah, but he pretended it didn't."
"Stubborn old man."
Jacob's dark eyes weighed his sister's focused face and decided that escape was not an option.
"Did you have sex with her?"
Jacob choked and coughed his protest with teary eyes he gaped at his sister. "Christ, Rach. What kind of a question is that?"
Rachel merely strode to him and smacked his back hard, stared at her stinging hand and frowned at him. "Why her, Jake?"
Jacob drew a breath. "Rach—"
She lifted a hand. "I'm serious. I'm not acting out on some kind of dutiful sister obligation here. I see that you love her, but I also see Dad's face, Leah's, everybody's face, when her name pops up in conversation. Everybody tiptoes around you and holds their breath whenever she’s mentioned."
The wrinkles on her forehead deepened. "I don't know the whole story, but I know it was bad. I only need to see you—" She huffed out a breath and shifted her feet. "I don't want to see you get hurt, that's all." She finished lamely.
Touched, but also irritated, Jacob sighed and merely let the silence stretch on.
"Well," She shrugged. "I'm going to bed. You?"
"Patrol."
She nodded before turning.
"Hey, Rach."
Rachel stopped at the tentative tone in Jacob's voice and looked over her shoulder.
"She loves me too."
Something shifted inside of Rachel's chest; worry laced with sadness. "Yeah. I saw that." Because he looked like he needed it, she moved her lips into a smirk. "Why do you think I haven't ripped off her arms and beaten her with them?"
He snorted. "Nice. Graphic."
She continued walking. "Night, baby bro."
Rachel hadn't been gone for two minutes when Leah cantered in. Jacob suspected it was his day of being nagged by the women in his life.
He lifted his brows at the sight of her. It wasn't the black sports bra or the black faded shorts, it was her new hairdo.
Leah's hair was a sassy black cap on her head, short spikes stuck on the top. The cut emphasized all the sharp angles of her face and her big golden eyes.
"Soon, you won't have any hair left."
Her feet didn't stop until she was in the kitchen with him. It was a worrying habit with all the werewolves.
First stop, kitchen.
She ran a hand over her head, messing it up. "Got tired out of picking dead leaves and sticks out of it."
He pressed his lips together and didn't comment. He knew why she kept cutting her hair shorter and shorter. He knew she knew that he knew, so he kept his mouth shut.
Sam loved her hair, and it pricked Sam's heart to see her cut it.
Jacob couldn't quite disapprove of her cheap, spiteful shots. Didn't he do exactly the same thing?
She needed to get her fun from somewhere.
Jacob winced when she froze and sniffed, turning to him in a sharp, almost too fast movement for his eyes to follow. "She's on your skin."
Crap, I knew I should've showered. "I think the appropriate term for that is under your skin."
She leaned closer and sniffed. "She's not only on your clothes. Her scent is on your skin." She lifted her eyes to stare at him. "Did you—?"
"Why the sudden interest with my sex life?"
"It's not some sort of morbid curiosity, I just don't want to have some stray image of you doing the naked tango with Bella Swan, alright?" She paused then grimaced as something occurred to her. "Or dreaming of myself doing the naked tango with her." She shuddered. "Ugh."
Leah narrowed her eyes on the blank expression on Jacob's face, unusually knowledgeable about the twisted minds of men, she kicked his shin. "Men are pigs."
Jacob crossed his legs at the ankles and chuckled, remembering Leah's violent reaction to each and every sex fantasy that had leaked into her mind. Not that he enjoyed peeking into the frenzied mind of their brothers, but it was worse for her.
He sympathized with Leah whenever Seth projected some visually graphic fantasy of his, and then he would sympathize with Seth whenever Leah socked him on the stomach.
He was especially grateful that he had never had to endure Sam's thoughts of Emily. Somehow that was equivalent to seeing his parents...his mind shied away from that train of thought. He caught sight of Leah rummaging for food. Very, very grateful that he never had to endure that.
Leah was still a bitch, no pun intended, sharp-tongued and ruthless, especially when riled. She still didn't quite belong, and Jacob was doubtful if she ever would.
Being the only female werewolf in the history of their tribe wasn't quite an accomplishment as some would think. He knew she felt more like a freak than any of them. An outcast. An intruder.
Like being a werewolf isn't enough weirdness to handle for a lifetime, she had to be the only one of her kind.
Then to add insult to injury, the pack Alpha was her ex-boyfriend, who had thrown her over for her cousin.
It wasn't enough that Sam had betrayed her, Emily had also turned her back on her.
If Jacob hated the lack of privacy, the lack of choice, Leah had resented it and he couldn't blame her.
She no longer had any place for delicacy in her life, not even an illusion of one; her mind, her body, her feelings, her life was an open book to any of them.
They tried to give her space, especially in phasing. It was made even more awkward as Sam bristled every time one of them caught even a glimpse of her, and he knew some of those random accidental phasing were not quite so random and not quite so accidental, every time spite overrode her embarrassment.
Leah and Jacob had their bad patches, but he understood, really, he did. Of all people, he knew that Leah had understood his pain better than most. It was one of the reasons why he tried so hard to be nice to her, not just because of the connection between two broken hearts, but also because of guilt. He knew why Leah had poked and prodded his wounds, because feeling his pain had abraded her own wounds.
It was like seeing herself bleeding and broken, pathetically hurt, rejected, weak. Seeing him like that was a blow to the face that made her screw you attitude, which she wrapped around herself to deal with the pity, the pain, the snickers behind her back, crack and crumble beneath her feet.
His pain had only managed to intensify hers, and the only thing she could do to handle it was to lash back.
If it was bad for the others to feel what he felt, it was even worse for her. She understood.
She was hurting as bad as he was.
Even Embry, the usual victim of Leah's spiteful demeanor, had to admit that she was better now, softer somehow, though her edges were still sharp and could draw blood, and it definitely helped that Jacob was Alpha now and not Sam.
He understood now why people say office romances are a bad, bad idea. It was hard not to be resentful when the person who dumped you could boss you around and you couldn't say no.
He eyed the older girl, who had dug out a packet of chips and was tearing into it like the wolf she was.
"The others are probably at the end of their designated areas already." Considering the pack’s size, Jake had felt justified on dividing their numbers on patrol. Sam would take the twins along; Quil, Paul and Embry made the second group; Jared, Quil and Seth made the third; while he and Leah were the fourth.
She was better, but she still grated on everybody's nerves.
Divided, they made good time, since they more ground to cover than ever. The Cullens were no longer here, a fact that he was grateful for every day, so the boundary line was non-existent. They were no longer in high school, where all they needed to do was sit in class and concentrate so as not to phase and kill someone. They had jobs now, responsibilities that you couldn't maintain when you were tired and sleep-deprived.
"We should do a quick runaround and head for the grounds to meet up." She said around the chips that she stuffed inside her mouth.
"You OK with me seeing Bella?"
Her eyebrows met her hairline. "Oh, is that what you kids were doing?" Leah wiped her mouth and weighed his expression. " You're asking for my opinion?"
Jacob shrugged. "Yeah."
"You going to get pissy if you don't like what I say?"
"Most likely."
She leaned against the fridge and mimicked his pose. Body relaxed, ankles crossed. Jacob's lips twisted with irritation at her exaggerated thinking expression. "It's a bad idea, considering how she pulverized you the last time you guys danced." She shrugged and stuffed more chips down her throat. "But you know that."
"She's bad for you, and by association, she's bad for the pack, but again, you know that." Her eyes focused on some imaginary point at the wall behind him. "There's nothing I can say that you haven't thought of or heard already."
Both of them pondered on the truth of that, then simultaneously shrugged. Silence stretched, filled by the crinkle of plastic and Leah's munching.
"I'm thinking of stopping."
Jacob lifted the bottle to his lips and glanced at her. "Hm, stopping what?"
When Leah kept her eyes away from him, his hand paused halfway to his mouth. His stomach clenched. "Phasing? You're going to stop phasing?"
Her eyes shifted to his before shifting back to the imaginary spot. "It's not like you need me. More often than not, I hurt the pack. I'm a weak link and…" She stopped. "I'm making excuses." With what looked like a great effort, she dragged her eyes to look straight at Jacob, leaving left no doubts about her meaning every word. "Truth?"
Not knowing what to say quite yet, Jacob nodded.
"I just want out."
"Why?"
"Other than you're bound to screw up and will probably mope around again?"
When Jacob merely stared, she sighed. "I just want out. I want…" She frowned. "I want..."
"To be free."
She made a move to rub her forehead, but remembered her hands were covered with crumbs, instead she reached for more chips. "Yeah." She munched, then bit her lip. "Sorry."
"For what?"
"I feel like." She swallowed. "Like I'm betraying—"
"You're not."
"Yes, I am. Being a werewolf is different for me than what it is to you and the others." As if she realized how that sounded, she lifted her eyes to Jacob's. "I didn't mean it's not hard for you guys—"
"I knew what you meant."
Her shoulders relaxed. "I don't...belong. You're family, all of you are and I feel that, and most days I'm glad for it. I'd die for any one of you and I believe in protecting humans from vampires. I believe in what we stand for." Her shoulders straightened, her expression grave. "Live for the family. Die for the cause." She recited respectfully. "I believe in that." She shook her head as her shoulders slumped. "But I need..."
"I know. I understand."
She threw him a half-smile. "I know you do. I told you first not just because you're Alpha, but because you're a friend." Her brow wrinkled. "Sort of."
Jacob scoffed and took a long pull out of his bottle. "So, this is your two weeks’ notice?"
"Hardly. It's probably going to be years before I could eventually stop, but I'm going to do my hardest."
"You know I won't stop you, anyone of you, if that's what you want." Jacob watched as she nodded as if his words were a given. "But you know who would."
Her lips firmed and Jacob could actually hear the snap of her spine. "He doesn't have any say in it."
"Doesn't he?"
"No."
"You're saying that he didn't influence your decision whatsoever?"
She kept her face away as the silence lengthened between them, the pack of chips forgotten in her hand. "In some ways, I preferred when he was Alpha." She waved a hand. "Oh, I hated him, hated everything and every small rebellion I could think of was a victorious 'in your face". He made it easy to do that because...he was different. He was Alpha Sam, he was..." Her face twisted as she tried to find the words. "He wasn't the Sam that..." That I fell in love with. The Sam that loved me. "...I knew." Her mouth opened, closed before it opened again. "But now that he's just..."
Cold hands, closed eyes, sleepy whispers, Jacob. My Jacob. Jacob drew a breath into his constricted lungs. "One of the wolves."
She spared him a glance and a smile. "I can't look at him without remembering and it..." Hurts. Horribly. "He's married. Emily's pregnant. I was her maid of honor, for God's sake. It's over. Way over. But I can't..."
Jacob's heart twisted at the smile that didn't belong on a face so young and full of promise. "He still loves me." Her eyes returned to his, naked and raw, her voice quiet and solemn, with a trace of stinging pleasure. "That makes it hurt less... and more. At the same time."
Jacob's voice was a thoughtful whisper that clung to the air and hovered. "It does, doesn't it?"
He saw the dark humor on Leah's face. "It's scary how parallel our lives are going, isn't it?"
He chuckled. "I'm trying not to think about it."
She shifted in place. "You still have a chance, Jake."
"If you were me..."
"You wouldn’t see me for the dust."
He nodded, then nodded again. He finished his beer and pushed away from the counter. "I'm gonna take a shower."
She snorted as she peeked into the depths of her pack of chips. "You better. You smell like you rolled naked on her."
His steps faltered before his feet continued moving. "Make that a cold shower."
"Pig." She muttered. "Say, Jake." She called out when he was halfway to the bathroom. "You know if you talk about me getting mushy, I'm going to feel duty-bound to pound on you, right?"
Jacob scoffed. "Bring it while you still can, Leah."
"I think I'm gonna start on Quil." she muttered as she licked her fingers.
Jacob laughed as he closed the bathroom door.
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