Promises to Keep-5Promises between Friends

Bella POV

I ignored the indulgent look on Alice's face when I popped my head out of the open window of Carlisle's black Mercedes. I knew my eyes were wide and bright as I drew in the sounds and sights of the place that I once called home.

I breathed in the fresh cool air deeply, the scent of rain was still in the air as well as the smell of damp Earth—everywhere I look—the forests, the ground, everywhere—white was the most dominant color but fresh green was starting to show.

It wasn't so different from Alaska except for the number of trees.

I never thought I'd miss it so much.

Forks, Washington.

After our departure six months ago, I was back again.

If only our return was under happier circumstances.

The first blush of excitement was fading fast and was replaced by the anxiety and the nerve-crumbling-worries that filled my mind most of the time it took for us to arrive since I found out Alice's latest premonitions.

Even thinking about it made my palms sweaty.

I jumped when Alice's ice cold hand held mine. "If you keep pulling at it like that, you'll break it, then you will really have a reason to be upset."

I blinked then looked at my hand that was tangled on the bracelet that Jacob gave me more than half a year ago. The small detailed wooden wolf figurine peeked at me from between my restless fingers. I stopped pulling at it but kept my hand on it, trying to find comfort in the solidness of the little charm that he had made with his large but surprisingly nimble hands.

Jacob Black, my best friend who I haven't seen or called or mentioned since the day I left.

Back when I was being petty, stupid, selfish like I always was and I found myself wishing if only my stupidity and selfishness didn't hurt others and only myself.

Again.

You'd think that I would learn.

"He'll be alright, Bella." Alice assured me.

I shrugged off her comforting hand from my shoulders. "You don't know that. You can't even see him." I snapped. Her golden eyes stared at me with hurt and remorse in their golden depths but right now, I didn't care.

I didn't want to be comforted and I was still mad at her for keeping everything from me.

I thought that we were passed all that, keeping secrets from eachother.

Guess, I thought wrong.

"You can stay mad at me but give Edward a break. He was only—"

"He promised." I stubbornly looked outside the windows where moody clouds rolled at the sky in warning of a heavy incoming of either snow or rain. "He promised no more secrets."

I noticed Carlisle—who was driving—exchanged glances with Esme who sat beside him. I knew I was being stubborn but their son was hardly innocent.

Alice sighed. "Bella, you should understand by now the inner workings of Edward's mind. He surely didn't mean to be secretive."

"It doesn't excuse his behavior." I stifled a wince at the sulky tone in my voice but as we got closer to the town, my anger simmered again, making me feel self righteous and I held on to it. I felt the dull edges of the wolf figurine dug into my palm and I focused on that so I'd remembered what I was so angry about.

I have a tendency to lose focus when he was near me. But not this time, this time, he went too far.

"There was no excuse. No excuse for him not to tell me. He knew I would have wanted to know but he kept it from me."

It made things even worse because I had to find out on my own. That night, when we were alone, I unleashed the biggest tantrum I had ever unleashed on anyone least of all him.

Even today, I banished him from my presence so he had to ride with Rosalie and Emmet.

But I knew—knew for certain—that I was in the right this time and my anger was a result of hurt and fear. Fear not for myself but for the people I had came to love. People that had fought for me, hurt for me.

Hurt because of me.

No, this time, I couldn't not be angry at him. I realized that my anger was in no danger of dissipating any time soon.

"Bella." Carlisle's even tempered velvet voice called out to me. "It's not all his fault. We all decided not to tell you until we were sure."

"Not me. I wanted to tell you." Alice piped out beside me, trying to return herself into my good graces. "Immediately."

"Thank you, Alice." I spared her a small smile before returning to Carlisle. "It's not the same, Carlisle. You're not my husband."

Esme's laugh filled the car as she twisted to look at me. "Far be it for me to speak against my sons, Bella, but from a wife's point of view, I do agree with you."

"You're not helping, Esme." Carlisle chided his wife.

Esme's golden eyes shifted to her husband. "I told him that he should tell Bella right away, even Rosalie did, but you men wanted to hoard the secret all for yourselves."

Jasper—sitting on the other side of Alice—groaned when I leaned forward and eyed him. "He made me do it."

Alice elbowed her one true love. "Some brother you are."

He lifted a blond eyebrow. "What about you? You threw Edward to the wolves-"He closed his mouth when he saw whatever kind of expression that I had on my face. He grimaced. "Sorry, Bella. Bad choice of words."

I look out the window again when I felt my eyes started to heat, trying to ignore the whispers that Alice traded with Jasper. The first drop of rain started to touch my face and I was suddenly freezing so I reluctantly close the window.

I was caught surprise by the immediate sensation of claustrophobia—not from the closed space—but from the emotions that was whirling inside me with nowhere to go. The agonizing worry that was eating away at my insides, the guilt that made my stomach felt like lead and an overwhelming need that made my fingers tremble with the force of it.

Suddenly—out of nowhere—a rush of warmth and well being washed over me and I knew where it came from. I snapped my eyes towards Alice and the boy beside her. "Jasper, knock it off."

Alice pouted and Jasper shifted his eyes to the front and the calming sensation disappeared, leaving me restless and worried. I needed to feel this way. Consider it my punishment for treating Jacob the way I did, if the shoes were in the other place, I know I would go crazy.

Oh, Jacob, I called out in my mind.

I knew he was alright, a phone call to Charlie took care of my nightmares but the threat was still there.

The danger was still there.

Still coming.

And to think of the days that I was mad at him, angry and resentful because he'd somehow made me see how much I would sacrificed by being a vampire—not that I'm not going to be a vampire, I will—just…not now.

He fed my doubts with his 'perspectives' as he called them and I hated him a little which was stupid because all he was guilty of was being a good friend. He was just taking care of me—like always—and I hated him for it. I even neglected to call him, tell him that I've arrived or of my decision to delay my change. I knew that he would wonder, knew that he would toss and turn over whether I've changed or not and I let him because I was so angry.

But that didn't mean Edward had any right to do what he did.

No matter how much I groused about Jacob, Edward should have known that I wanted to know if something happened to him. Or if there was a chance of something happening to him like the one that he knew and kept secret from me for two weeks.

Two weeks!

I shuddered at the thought of what could happen in those two weeks.

If something happened to Jacob, to Quil and Embry. To Phil and Jared and Leah. To Sam, Seth and Emily then the twins. To Billy.

And if anything happen to them, I knew something could happen to Charlie, too, because he was always hanging out around Billy's since I was gone—possibly mooching off of Billy and I guess, with Jacob gone so much with the pack, Billy was probably glad for the company.

To think that the Volturi would take an interest in a small pack of werewolves!

The Volturi.

Even the name was able to make me break into a cold sweat.

The fact that Alice can only see one side of the problem—only the Volturi's—set my teeth on edge. Especially, when she started to have flickers of…nothing that told us the vampire council has actually deciding to involve themselves with the werewolves.

It was easy to know what kind involvement that would be.

Images of Caius, Aro and Marcus—their chalky skin, their unnatural grace, their still demeanor was still vivid in my mind. The soldiers, the enforcers that they had—I couldn't imagine the pack fighting all of them. Not to mention Dimitri and Felix and Jane with her monstrous gift.

I remembered the agony I felt, the sheer pain that I experienced when I found out that Jacob was hurt—like a piece of me was dying—I think I wouldn't survive feeling like that all over again.

I don't know how they know about the werewolves, maybe Jane, Felix and Dimitri noticed something on their last visit—I suppressed a shiver at the thought—but if they did, why now? Why wait all this time?

There must be a trigger for their sudden decision.

"Bella, we're here."

I jumped out of the car as fast as I could and ran into the Cullen house to pounce at the nearest phone—Esme had opened the house and took care of everything when Alice saw us coming back to Forks. I pressed Jacob's number by heart and waited impatiently for someone to pick up.

My breath hitched when I heard Billy's voice, suddenly noticing how similar their tone of speech was.

"Billy. It's Bella."

Astonishment rippled in his voice. "Bella, how are you?"

"Good. I'm good. Um, is Jacob there?"

He went quiet awhile and I wondered whether he was trying to figure out a lie to tell me. Was Jacob angry at me because I didn't call?

"Sorry, you missed him. He's out with the others."

"Can you give me directions on how to get there?" I ignored the choking noise that—without even looking I knew—came from Edward.

"Wait. You're home?"

Home. The words slid so naturally from him as if I'd left on a trip instead of moved.

"Yeah, I'm home. So, where's Jacob?"

It took me a long minute to realize why he was hesitating because my mind was immediately filled up with wonderings about whether Jacob didn't want to see me. "Billy, I'm still human."

It's as if I could see his face brightened with pleasure. "Oh, in that case." He mentioned a place that wasn't far from where Jacob and I used to ride our motorcycles. I caught myself again, wondering what had become of mine.

Did he sell it?

"Okay, thanks, Billy. If you meet Emily, say hi for her to me."

"I would. Why don't you come over, she'd love to see you."

I hesitated but was determined to ignore the vampire that I knew was listening into our conversation. "Maybe later today."

"I'd love to see Charlie's face when he sees you. He misses you very much."

I winced. "I have to take care of some errands first. Don't tell him, yet. I want to make it a surprise."

"Sure, sure."

A smile curved my lips at the familiar phrasing. I ended the conversation and turned to my family who stood and sat in various places, their faces turned toward me though their eyes were on Edward who stood with his back to me.

I ignored his stillness. I was—amazingly—still angry at him so I better get out while I can. I didn't feel like thinking about his feelings especially since he didn't think at all about mine.

"Carlisle." I aimed my stare at Carlisle who sat on the sofa with Esme, their hands linked. Carlisle met my eyes with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Yes, Bella."

"Can I borrow the Mercedes?"

"You want to visit Charlie?" I gave Emmet a baleful glare—as if they haven't all been listening to my phone call—but he merely grin, even when Rosalie elbowed him at his side. He winked when I continued to glare at him—reminding me of somebody else that rarely took my anger seriously. It made my anger rose even more.

"No, I'm going to see the pack."

I kept my eyes at Carlisle when he sneaked a look at Edward, that made me feel even angrier. I'm not his pet, I can go anywhere I want. "Of course, I can just call Charlie to pick me up."

Carlisle sighed and handed out the keys for me.

"Thank you."

Edward didn't move until almost passed him. "Bella."

I kept my eyes straight, it was easier to ignore whatever he had to say that way. "Don't talk to me. I'm still angry at you."

"I didn't want to worry you. There was still a chance—"

"Do you take chances with my life?"

"Of course not." He sounded as if he was offended.

"Well, I also don't take chances with the lives of the people that I care about."

"Didn't we already establish that they are alright?" He pleaded and I looked to the side when he ducked his head down to meet my eyes.

"Yes, we did." True, Edward was no human, but he was still a man. "But, it's not that."

"Then, what is it? And why won't you look at me?"

"You broke your promise to me." And remembering that tiny detail made me angry all over again.

He was quiet for a while, as if he had trouble taking it all in. "That's all?"

"That's all?" I whipped my head towards him and for the first time since I met him, the quickening of my heartbeat was not the result of looking at his beautiful face.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see Carlisle, Jasper and Emmet winced while Rosalie, Alice and Esme rolled their eyes at Edward's comment.

"What do you mean, 'that's all'?"

But he merely stared at me with those mesmerizing golden eyes as if he was trying—and failing as always—to read my mind. "The fact that Jacob is involved doesn't influence you whatsoever?"

I tried very hard not to stamp my foot. "Of course it does. And bringing up Jacob is not helping your current situation, Edward. You know, you know that he and the pack was in danger. You know how much they mean to me but you kept it a secret anyway and by doing that you broke your promise to me." I narrowed my eyes. "Did the fact that Jacob is involved influence you?"

The beautiful curve of his lips firmed in a straight line. For a minute, I though he was going to lie. Of course it influenced his decision. "Yes, because I know you'd be unreasonable like this. They're not in any danger."

"Yet. But they will if anyone of them meet with one of the Volturi, perhaps, you guys are right, that the Volturi is just curious and they will not bring any harm but you can't be sure. The Volturi might take forever to decide but they eventually do, you said that yourself."

He stared at me for a long while. "I've apologized." He reminded me.

I looked at him, at all the glory of his face and even though the anger that I felt threaten to burn a path and everything that stood in my way, the love I felt for him was still able to shine through, so I look away. "This time, it isn't enough."

"Bella."

"No." I leaned away from him.

"At least let me drive you to the line."

"No." I started walking but he followed me easily which didn't help my temper.

"Bring a cellphone?"

"Call Billy if you need to." I snapped and just for the hell of it, added, "I'll be out late. Don't wait up."

I heard Emmet chuckled at my parting words.

I'm glad someone was enjoying himself.

Finally, as I was alone, I let loose all of my anger, my worry, and my guilt as I stepped on the gas. The vampires were a bad influence on me since it seemed that their love for speed had rubbed off on me.

But since I can't walk out of a car crash—yet—I forced my foot to ease up and concentrated on the road instead of the tempest inside me that rode on my insecurities. Since I've known about the Volturi's interest, they haven't left me alone, there was always someone with me. Edward was probably afraid that I'd get myself on a plane which I did threaten to do when they assured me that I didn't need to do that, that perhaps Edward and Emmet can check on the situation themselves.

I scoffed, remembering that conversation. As if I would let them go and leave me behind, wondering, worrying.

The helpless and still image of Jacob's injured body had stayed with me all through the journey—more real, more vivid—because I had seen him like that. And the vision appeared in and out of my mind that I stayed in a continued state of worry over him.

The car stopped with a loud, obnoxious screech when a sudden epiphany hit me like a freight train; that this must be how he feels at the thought of me changing.

The sudden realization made my vision swam with tears and my fingers shake. I gripped the steering wheel so hard that my fingertips whiten but it still shook. I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel to catch my breath, a wave of understanding on how he'd behave all this time smothered me.

"Oh, Jacob."

I took a very deep breath, trying to keep myself together, to swallow my impending mania. I need to see him, feel him, to know that he's alright.

With shaking hands I changed gears and drove myself toward Jacob, knowing I won't be able to do anything else until I was with him.