Promises to Keep-4Flawed Promises

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Bella's POV

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There was definitely something afoot with the Cullens.

Something weird.

And no, I wasn't talking about their pale complexions, their mind-boggling beauty, or their otherworldly grace. Not even the fact that they were all vampires, or that they were vampires that made it a rule to not hunt humans. No, I wasn't talking about that, I was talking about something else.

I was talking about their sudden inability to exist comfortably around me. For example, Emmet, my—I still can't quite believe it even though it's been six months since my wedding to Edward—brother-in-law who usually liked to hang with me since he thought my ability to stumble over my own two feet hilarious and he very much liked to laugh, hardly ever even looks at me.

It was amazing how they—vampires who had to hide what they were for hundreds of years—were so bad in trying to act casual.

While Emmet developed a habit of avoiding me, Esme hovered. She couldn't leave me alone although she hardly had anything to say, she merely fussed and stared. Alice erupted in sporadic bursts of chatter whenever she was around me, her mouth sometimes moving so rapidly that I hardly understood her. It was as if she was afraid to let me have a word in for fear of what I'd say or ask, and since she didn't really need to breathe, those chatters can be really, really long. It was obvious they were hiding something. Something big. And Edward, being Edward, went all bent out of shape and overreacted. Again.

The fact that I wasn't badgering him to tell me about what was going on like usual was because I could pretty much guess what it was about.

Since James, Victoria and Laurent were all dead, that only left one more problem for me.

The Volturi.

I suppressed a shudder at the thought of Aro, Marcus, and Caius and their array of talents and minions. The scene in their lair at Volterra played numerous times in my nightmares with alternate endings. Alice—who has been concentrating on monitoring all their actions since our unfortunate meeting—probably had a vision about them.

I wonder if they were going to check on whether Edward had changed me or not.

It would be pretty obvious that he hadn't.

I—unfortunately—was still human. Helpless. Tasty.

I loosened my fingers that were clenched around the spine of my old copy of Romeo and Juliet as I remembered how I ended up in this predicament.

Jacob Black.

My so-called best friend.

Six months ago, he'd taken a chance on educating me about what I would be missing out on if I changed at the time Edward promised me. He'd opened my eyes to what exactly it was I would have to give up. He had honed in on my insecurities and doubts and fears so accurately that I hesitated, which made Edward insist on a time out. We'd compromised on one and a half years.

Edward seemed relieved and genuinely happy with my decision—which miffed me a little—but I knew it wasn't because he didn't love me, but because he does love me. In the past he'd been adamant about not changing me at all but we were past that now.

I figured Jacob—if he knew—would be ecstatic. But he didn't know, because I didn't tell him. I hadn't even called him to tell him where I was the way I promised to. Why would I do something like that when I knew how much he'd worry and wonder? Because, when I realized what he had done—fed my fear and doubts—I was angry. I even hated him a little because he put all the problems and pain that my mind had tried to push away and placed it smack dab in front of my eyes.

Even now, I felt the familiar anger bubble up to the surface and gritted my teeth.

I knew I was being petty and cruel but I couldn't seem to care at the moment.

But even when I aimed my anger towards him, it still didn't completely stop me from missing him. Sometimes I found myself staring onto the wooden wolf figurine on my bracelet and thought about warm sodas and plastic rooftops. I wondered about my red motorbike, whether he kept it or sold it. I imagined him inside his garage, his big hands flying over metals and tools, tinkering obsessively over something while soft rain pattered down the Earth, imagined him sitting in a circle of bonfire, his russet-colored skin tinted by the warm firelight among his brothers and sister, immersed in culture and realistic legends.

Suddenly I had an image of him standing in the cliffs; tall, strong, graceful. The sea crashed and swirled beneath him as he stared into the distant horizon.

The image was so vivid, so real that it grabbed at my throat.

"Call him, Bella." I jolted in surprise at his velvet, smooth voice and the cold, hard gentle touch on my shoulders. "You're only making yourself miserable as well."

I kept staring out the window and sniffed at him even as my heartbeat shuddered at his touch. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You miss him." He declared in his lovely voice, the tone of his voice easy and matter of fact.

"I called Charlie just two days ago."

His sweet breath fluttered my hair. "It's not Charlie that I'm talking about." I stayed quiet and he sighed a second time. "You are most stubborn about the strangest of things."

I readied myself for the masterpiece that was his face but I still lost my breath when I turned and met his eyes. They were a blazing color of gold, their probing intensity untarnished by the purple bruises under them. But it wasn't only that, it wasn't just his beauty and his perfection that made my heart swell with love and wonder but it was the swirl of emotion in his eyes whenever he looked at me, the gentleness of his touch against my skin. If I was finally granted my immortality, I was sure that I would be perfectly content to spend it just like this, just looking at him, sitting beside him, being with him. It was when I was with him when I felt my anger toward Jacob flared strong and uncontrolled, because he kept me from being able to do just that.

I doubted he did it purposely because of the kindness of his heart.

I scowled at the patient expression of Edward's—my husband's—face. "I don't want to talk about it."

"It's been six months."

My scowl deepened.

He merely smiled and my heart stumbled. "Surely that's long enough to punish him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I twisted away from him, a pout on my face. I could feel his eyes pricking onto the side of my face and I slid my gaze toward him. "What's it to you anyway? I thought you'd be happy."

My brow wrinkled when he mumbled something under his breath but a smile quickly appeared on his face. "But you're not."

He shook his head, a small movement that made the light shift over his marvelous face. I was so easily distracted by him but the words did finally sink in. "Edward, I can't be happier than when I am with you."

"If you were on talking terms with him, you'll be happier."

I merely stared. I knew I should've denied it—him being my husband and Jacob being his one time rival for my heart—but he'd know it would be a lie. Everything was so complicated since I realized that I loved Jacob as well. Although not as much as I loved Edward, it was strong enough that he influenced the twist and turn of my emotions. I rarely grew attached to anybody but once I did, apparently, it was for life—or soon enough, for my existence.

There was understanding in his eyes as he cupped my face as if I was the most delicate of porcelain. "He's a werewolf, Bella."

I stared at him, uncomprehendingly. "You just realized that?"

He chuckled but stared back at me, his features turned serious. "Soon, you will be a vampire."

I waited for him to elaborate but he kept looking at me as if I should understand. "What are you trying to say, Edward?"

He exhaled, the sweetness of his breath made me struggle to concentrate on my question but I did. "My...dislike for Jacob does not only stem over the hold he has over your heart," He lifted a hand and stroked my cheek when I opened my mouth to deny what he just said. "Not only because he tried his best to win your heart and also not because, he presents a danger to you. Setting all of that aside, it is the fact that he is werewolf and I am vampire that largely played in our mutual animosity."

I still didn't understand and my face told him so. He had a guarded look on his face, as if unsure how I would take this latest lesson of the supernatural. "Bella, when you are a vampire, I suspect it will be the same for you."

I felt the shock flitted and stayed on my face. "You mean, I would want to..."

"Kill him? I'm afraid you will."

"But you and the others managed to--"

"We are old, Bella. We had a lot of time on our hands to practice patience, to exert control over ourselves. Other vampires would not be so...considerate."

I don't know what kind of look he saw on my face, but it made him stretch out his arms and envelop me with them, pulling me closer into his stone embrace. I burrowed inside the circle of his arms and tried to process what he just told me. "Has it always been like that with vampires and werewolves?"

I felt him shake his head on the top of my head. "Not all of us--vampires--have the chance to meet werewolves or something similar, they are a rare breed, born out of mutation rather than—well—how we were made. Usually, as was with the Quileutes, the change is triggered by some kind of danger; some special threat to the group or singular that forced the change." He brushed his ice cold hand--contrasting vividly with the warmth that spilled out of the fireplace—down my back. "It will be difficult for you both, I imagine. With time, he will be able to control the urge and perhaps his feelings for you will also rein in his anger toward our kind. The fact that he is better at it than most his pack members will ensure that I suppose."

I picked at the woolly patterns of his light sweater. "Will I?"

He was quiet a while but he finally answered. "With time, everything is possible." He lifted my chin and gazed into my eyes, the warm gold striking against his pale skin, a faint flush spread on his cheeks from yesterday's hunt. "Soon, you will have nothing but time, but for that you will sacrifice many things that you have taken for granted, such as the ability to co-exist in comfort with Jacob."

My mind turned away from that, trying to spare me the pain of having to think that someday, I would lose the easy connection that I have with Jacob. "I'm just so angry at him."

He smiled the crooked smile that I loved. "Should I point out how illogical your anger is?"

"Anger usually is." I tucked my head back onto his chest. "Try and you'll be sleeping on the couch." I was surprised when he tensed--surely he didn't believe I would banish him from our bed? I peeked at his face with a smile on my face.

The expression on his face was frightening; tight and horrified, his eyes wide with disbelief, staring into an imaginary dot on the wall. I knew that faraway look in his eyes. I'd seen him doing it a million times. He was reading someone's mind, and he didn't like what he was seeing.

My heart was a quick staccato rhythm as I waited for him to finish. Maybe now, he would tell me what was going on. What they were all hiding from me. His form was perfectly still, his hands clenched at the back of my sweater. Somewhere along the way, he'd stopped breathing.

"No." The word was spoken in a harsh and uncompromising tone. I jolted when he snapped his head towards the door and not soon after, Alice and Jasper burst in, their faces tense and horrified.

"Edward, they've—"

"I know."

"What are we going to do?"

I saw Jasper press a hand on Alice's, his golden tone eyes flickered to me. Alice made a sound of impatience at the back of her throat but closed her mouth and stared at Edward reprovingly.

"What is it? What happened?"

Jasper and Alice glanced at Edward who stared back in stony silence.

"Don't even think of lying. I already know that something was up. You guys have been hiding something from me, what is it?" I gave up on Jasper and Alice as they avoided looking at me. I looked up at Edward. "Edward, what is it?"

He maintained his eye contact with Alice and Jasper as if he was silently willing them to hell at the moment. "Edward, you promised that there would be no secrets. I'd let you get away with it then, but not now. Tell me."

When he didn't budge, my temper flared and I detangled myself out of his arms. Well, at least, I tried to. His arms were iron around me but I managed a small space between us. I looked at Alice and glared at her. "Alice."

She blinked at my voice but still stared at Edward.

"Alice, look at me."

Slowly, her tawny gaze met mine.

"Is it the Volturi? Are they going to check up on me?"

Alice shifted her weight, her expression looked a bit guilty. "No."

"No, what?"

"They're not coming here."

"But is it the Volturi?"

Again, they exchanged looks and I sighed in aggravation. "Guys, come on. Is it others? Will there be other vampires--non vegetarian-- that will come here?"

Alice scowled at Edward. "She needs to know, Edward."

"No, she doesn't. Not until we have more solid evidence."

"If something happens, she'll never forgive us for not telling her, Edward."

I felt the blood drained from my face, my vision wavered. "It's Charlie, isn't it? Renee? Something happened to one of them. Or both?"

Edward turned me towards him, his face fierce. "No, it's not that. Your parents are alright."

"Then what is it? Is there any other supernatural beings that I need to know about?" I twisted my head from Edward's grasp and looked questioningly at Alice. "What did you see?"

She met my eyes, her eyes tight. "Nothing."

"Alice, I've been up against three psychotic vampires who were intent on killing me, a pack of reckless teenage werewolves and the Volturi. I think I can handle whatever bad news you have. Tell me."

Edward was a still and silent stone against me. A growl--low and threatening--climbed out his throat. "No, Alice."

Alice didn't even spare him a glance. "You know I've been tuning into the Volturi."

I nodded encouragingly, ignoring the sharp hiss that came out of Edward's gritted teeth. "They're going to come here?"

She shook her head. "No. I saw nothing."

I stared at her, trying to figure out what she just said. "You mean, they're still undecided about it?"

She stepped closer to me, Jasper who was beside her sent Edward cautious and warning looks. "Bella, you're not listening. I saw nothing."

I frowned, still not understanding. "How can that be? The only time you see nothing is when it has something to do with—" The realization came crashing down like a flood, the little things that I've noticed about their behavior along the weeks, the conversation that Edward and I just had. Suddenly, I had a hard time breathing. "The werewolves," I breathed. "Jacob."

Edward's hands were cold against my arms, even through the thick sweater I was wearing. "We called Charlie and they were fine, Bella. It's nothing to worry about."

"What do you mean, there's nothing to worry about?" I struggled against the hysteria that was clawing up my throat. "Are you saying that they're going to come to Forks, to find the wolves?"

Alice shook her head, her face devastated. "I don't know. At first, I got the impression that they were going to come here, to check on you but then somehow the conversation turned into what happened the last time the Volturi came to Forks. What Jane, Dmitri and Felix saw, the destruction that they thought only we caused. They were impressed and a little bit worried about the number and strength of our coven."

Jasper stepped forward. "I don't think they even know about the wolves, Bella."

"But if you suddenly can't see, that means they're bound to meet, right? Maybe, someone will be sent to Forks and the wolves will certainly fight him or her. We have to warn them. No, we have to go back."

"No."

I turned around at the hard, uncompromising tone in Edward's voice. "What do you mean no?"

"That's exactly what I mean. The Volturi won't be so reckless. They only deal in vampire matters and above all else, they covet our invisibility."

Jasper stood beside Edward. "That's true, Bella. Perhaps, they will get curious but they will hesitate upon involving themselves with other...creatures."

I stared at them, at their pale, calm, beautiful features...and didn't believe what they said for even a second. The panic was too strong, the fear too huge, blocking their reasonable argument and somehow I couldn't help but think—albeit a little too unfairly—what do they care about the werewolves? They were my friends that were going to be harmed. The werewolves were nothing to them.

What do they care about overgrown reckless werewolves?

I could see it in my head, how Paul and Seth would be so excited with the prospect of hunting the visiting emissary or emissaries, totally oblivious of the extent of the Volturi's power. Jacob knew about the Volturi, but just the little I told him. I didn't tell him about the tracker, Dmitri, or Jane's horror of a talent, or of Felix's blood lust—never mind Aro, Caius or Marcus.

Sam, Jared perhaps, would be vigilant, cautious, but all of them tend to lose their heads in the heat of the moment and if Jacob thought that they were after me, I didn't want to think how he would react to that.

The image of Jacob's helpless, unmoving body was still fresh in my thoughts, carved into the hollowed part of my mind by the sharp, ragged edges of my pain. I've thought more than once over these last few months—whenever I found myself not angry at him—that I never wanted to see him like that again but now, I just wanted to see him period.

"We have to go back." It was embarrassing how my voice broke at the end. I couldn't help but feel like a child every time I have my fits and emotional episodes. I felt Alice by my side, her presence cold and steady as was her hand on mine.

Edward's lips firmed. "We can't, Bella."

"Why not? We can say we've come for a visit." I gripped Alice's fingers tightly, trying to hold onto my composure so I could argue my side. "If it's about the danger, you said there is no danger."

"For the wolves. Having you and the Volturi in the same area is pushing our luck." He reached for me but I merely stared at his hand. His ocher eyes tightened, hurt. "Be reasonable, Bella. What good would it do if we go there?"

"I can see them, that's one. Didn't you say that I shouldn't take my current humanity for granted and make up with Jacob?"

Jasper raised an eyebrow at Edward who ignored him.

His eyes darkened when they landed on mine. "You very well know that's not what I meant. We don't need to fly down there to know that he's safe. We only need to ask Charlie--"

"How long have you known?" I asked him, though the words sounded more like accusation. My fear and worry evolved into anger and hurt as the subtle hints and signs of their actions, their reactions, came to the surface.

He blinked slowly, as if trying to choose his words carefully.

"No more lies, no more evasiveness, Edward. Tell me, how long have you known?"

As if they sensed the tension of the moment, Rosalie, Emmet, Esme and Carlisle entered the living room of our not-so-new home—their eyes tense and serious—a large, cozy, cottage-like house that, even with the snow outside, looked warm and inviting.

"Edward. You promised me that you'll tell everything." The jerky movement of my hand made the bracelet seem to burn with the firelight, the memory of Jacob sliding it around my wrist--his large fingers handling the delicate clasp more easily than I expected—flitted in my mind, stinging my eyes with tears.

I saw the hurt in Edward's eyes, how he realized that he'd hurt me and was also hurting because of it. The rush of love I felt for him eased my anger and that—strangely—stung. But what he did was wrong. He shouldn't have hid something of this importance from me. I don't want to always be behind his back as he protect me, I want to stand by his side. And especially not when my safety sacrificed others. "How long, Edward?"

"Two weeks."

A gust of breath escaped my lungs. "Two weeks? Jacob and the pack could've been in danger for two weeks and you didn't tell me?" Anger and hurt left a bitter, sharp taste in my tongue. I tore out my hand from Alice and stared at the faces of my family with damp, angry eyes. "All you?"

Esme and Emmet looked chastened while Rosalie looked elsewhere. Carlisle looked at Edward who looked at me with tortured eyes.

"I'm going back."

Edward stepped closer to me, his hand in front of him with his palms up, a gesture of peace and—I gritted my teeth—pacifying. "Bella, love-"

"I'm going back. Even if I have to go alone." For the first time since I've known them, since I known him, I turned my back and walked away.