Jacob inched his paws forward and let it drop into the wet mud with a splat, he couldn't help but grin at the feel of cool earth between his toes.
The storm didn't only appeal to vampires, it appealed to werewolves too.
Jacob's black lips peeled back across his muzzle, his razor sharp teeth glinting in the thunder streaked night.
Darkness crept slowly across the trees like greedy spidery fingers.
His grin was fierce with a streak of mean when lightning slashed the sky and thunder cracked much too close that his fur seemed to crackle with it.
He turned from the crashing waves and the still stones of the ocean's cliffs and rocks, delighting in the way the wind and water stung and bit his skin.
His breath was harsh, not by exertion but by emotions; dark and chaotic with spear-like edges, it chased along his skin like fire ants.
He eyed the dark inky sky. A new moon was close.
The wind slapped him back and he pushed against it as he ran even harder out of pure spite.
Growling low in his throat, he snapped his jaws at the wind as if it has a corporeal body to bit into, to tear and worry and claw.
One by one, the pack met at the rendezvous spot and naturally fell into step behind their Alpha in a deep, wide V. They could feel the sharp, biting emotions inside Jacob, feeding the electricity in their blood, spurring their paws to go faster, harder, fiercer.
Their howls lashed back at the roaring wind, rising above the crack of thunder as they ran like ghosts in the darkness.
***
Jacob slicked his hair back and strode out of the edges of forest to Charlie's backyard. He washed the worst of the muck with a hose, his body heat will take care of the water that clung to his skin.
He climbed the stairs of the back porch, rolling his damp shoulders, wiping and shaking his hair like he was a dog or in this case, wolf. He paused when he heard footsteps but continued flicking off water when he heard the all too fast heartbeat that says werewolf.
Leah smelled like pack and forest and earth and something spicy and sweet.
His stomach growl, reminding him that he haven't fed to his heart's content just yet.
The back door open to show Leah's sneering face, on her hands were a towel and his jeans. “Put this on. You might as well be naked with that on.”
Jacob took the towel and looked down on himself and managed a smirk at the wet condition of his boxers. “Nothing that you haven't seen before.”
Leah lifted an eyebrow. “The question is, has she?”
Jacob didn't answer and merely pulled his jeans over his boxers and rubbed his hair with the towel. “Did you eat her?”
A broad, fake sweet smile bloomed on Leah's face. “No, I gnawed on her a little, though. She'll live.”
“Did you girls have fun?”
“Oh yeah.” She agreed with an equally fake cheer in her voice. “We braided each other's hair, did each other's nails, had pillow fights in our underwear and pondered on the mysteries of love...oh wait, that's what you guys do.”
“Ha.” Jacob didn't need to peek into the living room to know that Bella was there, the slow, steady breathing that he could hear from where he was standing told him that she was asleep.
“So, anything happen?”
“No, things were pretty quiet. We picked up a scent near the hot springs but it looked like they were just passing by.”
Leah's golden eyes narrowed at the darkness across from them. “They're always passing by these days.”
Jacob's bared his teeth in a dark smile. “Probably because bad little vampires keep ending up missing when they come around here.”
Jacob tossed a look at where Leah's eyes were focused on him. “What?”
“Your mood is better. You practically bit my head off when I came.”
He shrugged. “You know how it is after a run.”
She gave a sound of agreement and walked down the back porch. He watched as she tipped her face toward the sky, letting the raindrops pelt her face. “I know. I'll miss that. And this most of all.”
“What? The rain?”
Thunder streaked and boomed but Jacob and Leah didn't flinched, instead they lifted their heads to wallow in the sound.
“Being a part of this.” She swept a hand to encompass all that she could see, awe and respect in her voice. “Of nature.”
He didn't need to ask what she meant. He already knew. Even now he could still feel the steady beat of the earth beneath his feet, the sounds of insects and water and wind wavering in his ear. The sense of belonging, of connection he felt with the land, with his land whenever he was wolf that gave him and strength and confidence that stayed inside him when he phase back.
“Watch your step, Jake.”
He leaned against the open door, his dark eyes on hers. “You're the one standing in the rain.”
“Have you told her?”
“About what?”
“You should.” When Jacob remained quiet she narrowed her eyes. “Don't say I didn't warn you.”
When he finally talked, his voice was soft and kind. “I'm not Sam, Leah.”
“Never said you were.” She lifted a hand to wipe her face. “She needs you too much to know what she's getting into.”
He caught the key that she threw at him, a glint of silver before tearing off into the forest in a blur of black and white.
He watched her run in human form, trying to burn off the excessive energy that built up once you haven't phase for some time, the wolf was a restless creature that couldn't stand quiet for long, especially when a storm is passing through. It excited their blood, heating it 'till the boiling point.
Each flash and thunder was a song, singing, pulling their eyes to the sky where blinding light crash and split the sky. He wondered how long it would take for Leah to surrender and finally phase.
He shook his head, Leah chose a hard path to walk on, but then again things are rarely easy for Leah.
When he stepped inside, it only took him a second to sense her eyes on him.
Black eyes clashed with brown in the soft beckoning candlelight. She stood in the middle of the hallway between the kitchen and living room, wearing a soft, huge gray T shirt that hung to her knees, a deep blue throw was wrapped around her shoulders and his nose caught her scent. She no longer smelled like him, instead she smelled sweet and fresh and cool, like night blooming jasmines.
Her hair was mussed and her face was soft with sleep.
His heart twisted into tiny little knots.
“You're dripping on my floors.”
A smile almost made it to his lips but his answer was as bland as her voice. “I'll mop it up.”
He did exactly that before stepping into the living room. “I thought you were asleep.”
“I was.”
“Did we wake you?”
“No. Where's Leah?”
“She went for a run.”
“Oh.” Her eyes slanted to where he was standing, focusing on his face rather than his naked chest and damp hair. “Is everything OK?”
“So far.” Ignoring the weary look in her eyes, he passed her and scowled at the empty white boxes that were supposed to be his dinner. “Is there any food left?”
She brushed a hand over her face and gestured toward the kitchen. “I made some sandwiches.”
“Great.” He paused when she shifted and faced him, her eyes searching his. Something close to resolution passed her face.
“If I came back and told you like you wanted me too, what would you have thought? What would you have done? You'd think that I've decided, that I've made my choice. That I chose you.”
Jacob crossed his arms and looked away from her demanding eyes, slowly, he sat on the sofa's arm. “And that would be wrong?”
“Yes, it would be wrong. Just because I didn't marry him, didn't mean I'd stop wanting to be with him, or that I decided against him or of being turned. It wasn't—it was far from over between us. I didn't want it to be over between us.”
She gathered the blue material tighter around her. “Everything was a mess, nothing made sense. I didn't make sense. It was just, everything was...”
“A mess?”
A vulnerable smile lifted the corner of her lips into a smile that wasn't a smile at all. “Yes, I didn't...I couldn't concern myself with you or anything else.” Her brow wrinkled as her eyes drifted into other places, other times. ”I refused to think of you. If I saw you, if you came to me, I would've wrapped myself around you and...”
“And that's bad?”
Bella's heart stuttered at the soft, careful question. “Yes, it's bad.” She took a step nearer to him but stopped when his eyes snapped to hers. “Jake, don't you see? That was the problem, my feelings for you...” She sighed, exasperated with herself. “Remember the time when we talked in your bedroom? When...” The scene replayed inside her mind and seared her heart. “..you were recovering from the fight with the newborns?”
A short laugh escaped Jacob mouth. “How could I forget? It was the first time you admitted you love me.” The smile was small and bruised. “Finally.”
Pain pulsed inside Bella's chest and beneath the layers of cloth, she gripped her fingers tightly. “I cried, cried all the way from your house to mine, it got so bad I had to stop. Edward found me and drove me home and held me while I cried, while I sobbed your name into his chest. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and Edward, he looked at me...” Bella's face twisted with the memory of that face, in pain because she was in pain. “He offered to leave me.”
Bella almost cringed at the look that Jacob gave her before he smothered his expression and gave her his Alpha face, the one that was pleasantly bland. “But he didn't.”
Was this really worth it? Her heart cried out at her, accused her. It hurts him. And that hurts us.
“He didn't because I refused his offer, because I've decided. Because I've made my choice. Because I knew I love him.”
“More than you love me.”
Her lips trembled but she opened them anyway, and shred his heart to pieces. More than she already did.
“Yes.” Her eyes closed, not wanting to see the wounds she created splattered across his face. She took a deep breath and opened them again. “Then you disappeared and I...I tried to understand, to handle it but as the wedding drew close all I could think of was 'where is Jacob?', 'is he hurt?', 'why did he leave?', 'was it all my fault', 'will he come back?', 'will I see him again?'.” It was hard to meet his eyes but she did and it was harder still to not stretch her arms and hold him. “It didn't help that Charlie was frantic about finding you and that the pack stonewalled me.” She smiled, sadly, softly, painfully. “And then you came back.”
It wasn't until his eyes drifted down that she realized her hands had wormed their way out of their covers and that her fingers were brushing the white seashell carving there. The one that he secretly gave to her on that night. “You came home and I was so relieved, so happy and was so afraid and filled with what I felt for you that I couldn't bear to let you go. So I held on to you, I clung to you but you left again.” Tear coated her throat and when her voice broke she dropped her eyes to her naked feet. “I broke my promise that night, the one I made the first time he offered to leave, that I'll never let him see me cry for you again.” She drew a ragged breath. “But when I found out that you were gone, I thought it was just a dream, that I dreamed all of it and that you didn't come back at all. The pain was huge, indescribable, I couldn't keep it inside. Ironically, Edward was the one that showed me the added charm, here I was crying my heart out because of another boy and he tried to comfort me by showing me that you were there, that it was no dream. But my heart wasn't comforted. You were gone, and that was all that mattered. So I cried and cried while he held my hand, helpless. In the morning, before he had to go, he offered to leave again.”
“And you refused him again.”
She nodded, her eyes wet and large. “I was so sure of him, you see. It was him. He was only. Then at the wedding...”
“I was there again.”
She nodded, brushing a trembling hand against her eyes.
Jacob's hands trembled, he wanted to hold her, touch her but he dug his fingers into his arms.
“He found me, hiding in a closet, in my wedding dress, weeping into my tasteful, expensive flower bouquet beside brooms and mops and three spiders.”
“Did he offer to leave again?”
“No. He made the decision for me. We made our excuses and while the family moved to Alaska, Edward accompanied me to Renee's. I was so angry at him, I wouldn't hear of him leaving me. I cried, I blackmailed, I accused him of wanting to do that all along and that he didn't love me after all...and finally, finally he agreed, he agreed to come back for me if he saw that I was ready.” Bella shook her head slowly. “He always wanted me to go out in the world more, to live a human life, to taste possibilities. He wanted me to travel, to....” She stopped, her eyes far away. “He wanted that for me, mortal years where I'll be free to do anything I wanted. So he left me there where I sulked and thought bitter thoughts that if I only--” She slid guilty eyes to the man who sat so still and silent in her living room.
“..that if only you didn't love me...:" He was Alpha Jacob again, his face neutral, unreadable. “Do you want me to apologize?”
“Not like you would anyway. Besides, it wasn't your fault. Like I said, the fault lies with me. It was me that needed fixing.”
“So you think that loving me was something that needed to be fixed?”
Bella blinked. “I didn't mean it like that. It was just, from my perspective...” She stopped and just looked at him. “I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just trying to explain how it was for me.”
Jacob held her eyes for a few lingering seconds then dropped his eyes and waved a hand for her to continue.
Bella took a moment to settle her thoughts. “He wanted me to experience, to live so I did. I tried everything I could, did everything I could, focusing on proving him wrong. So what if I stay human? So what if learn a few things? That I went to college and met new people? It wouldn't change a single thing. It wouldn't change me or the fact that I love and want him.”
“A year came and went, and another where I got my hands on everything and packed experiences in every single moment of my days but I got restless, unsatisfied with his visits and calls. I showed him that 'here's where I've been', 'here's what I did' but hey, I still want you.” Her brow wrinkled and folded into an expression of confusion. “But he only looked at me and shook his head and left again.”
Jacob watched as Bella shook herself from memories that clung like cobwebs; dainty, fragile.
Haunting.
“It was more than a year ago that I started to panic. What if he didn't want me, what if this was just an excuse to get rid of me? I knew better but...I needed something to hold on to, something that reminded me of him."
"So you moved back. Here.”
“It was the one decision that I didn't need to fight over. It's familiar, it was where I met him, where I fell in love with him...”
“What did he say?”
“He was happy. He wanted me to see Charlie again, to be among familiar faces again.” Bella's brown eyes swept his face, weighing his expression. “But mostly, I think he was waiting, waiting for me to come and see you, to meet you again.”
“You didn't.”
“I was trying so hard to prove that all I wanted was him, that you were...and I thought that...”
“That I've forgotten you.”
Her eyes shone at him in appeal. “Hoped for it. Feared it. It was hard, knowing you were so close but I concentrated on everything else but that. I was starting Bells, I had Charlie, I was also making friends...I tried, I tried so hard not to think of you....”
Her eyes froze on the bitter yet amused smile on his face. “How is that going for you so far?”
Her lips opened, closed, than opened again. “I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how to explain--”
Jacob sighed, and it was long and heavy and tired and she looked on, helpless, without words.
Finally, finally, he lifted his eyes where candle light shimmered and reflected back into darkness and looked at her with the expression that was hers. “Come here, Bells.”
Concerned, she tilted her head in confusion. “Jake--.”
He lifted a hand. “Come here.”
Bella shifted her feet and couldn't help but think that something else was happening, that his simple gesture, one that he'd done thousand times before, and her walking toward him was more than what it seemed. Her heart pounded in premonition when she looked into his eyes and made herself stop but he pulled her between his legs and brought their eyes level with merely a few inches separating them. The eye contact was unbearably intimate that Bella's eyes shied away from his.
His fingers lifted her chin so that her eyes shifted back to his and Bella's thoughts scattered in panic.
His voice was low and throaty and echoed inside her chest. “How do you feel, Bella?”
Confused by the sudden out of topic question, she forgot her embarrassment and blinked back at him. “Um. OK?”
A slight amused smile curved his wide lips as he slid a finger down the curve of her neck. “What do you feel?” His eyes swept her face and she felt his gaze on her skin like flickering embers.“Here, near me. Close to me.”
How do I feel? She repeated inside her mind, her eyes glued to his. The look inside those two deep eyes made her all too aware of the heat, the roughness of the fingers on her chin, that he was holding her within that shivering distance while the silence stretched on and on and on. Being so near, she could count his eyelashes if she wished, the thought brought her eyes to linger and wander to the tangle of black hair that framed his face, curled against his shoulder. They shifted to the wide angles of his cheekbones, that wide firm mouth, the stubborn and hard lines that formed his jaw. What she saw wasn't just a handsome face but a familiar one, a beloved one, a face that had burned itself into a corner of her memory where whispers of Jacob, my Jacob played over and over again.
Her breath caught in her throat when she met his eyes again, the heat in them made anticipation hover between them like the dark.
But this time, this time it was Bella who leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.
It was she who lifted her hands to encircle his neck.
She who whispered his name into his mouth.
The kiss was warm soft, lazy and lingering, their lips melding and moving with gentle pressure.
Impossibly moved, painfully aware, Bella stepped close and breathed deep, he smelled, she thought, like damp earth, of forest, of pine and rain and tasted like, she curled her tongue softly against his, sunsets and sunrises.
Heat spread from her stomach and spread to her curling toes and when she tilted her head, deepening the kiss, the heat slid to her heart where it took root and burned with a steady fire. It beat thickly and fast inside her chest, racing against his.
It was with giddy delight that she swept her hands along his skin, relishing the broadness of his shoulders, the firmness of his back, the way muscles jump and shift under her fingers
She could feel his hands trembling, not with anger but with other dark emotions, on her back although his mouth remained gentle on hers. The contrast between the strength of his grip and the softness of his mouth excited her.
But the kisses didn't stay gentle and soft for long.
The sounds of their lush, open mouth kisses filled the air and beat back the howling winds, it thrummed on their skin where restless fingers touched and wandered.
....his breath scalded the inside of her mouth.
When he slipped a hand under the soft material of her shirt moving up, up up, setting off little explosions up and down her spine, their kisses turned dark and edgy and hungry.
The tip of his callous thumb brushed against the underside of her breast and, gasping in surprise, she arched, spilling the curve of one naked breast into his hand....
The world tipped and tilted and Bella found herself staring at the ceiling, pressed deeply into the lumpy cushions of Charlie's old sofa by Jacob's massive weight. Pulling air into her lungs as well as she could, she blinked and tried to clear her head.
Jacob was a hot and tense and silent wall on top of her, his hands wrapped around her, holding her to him so tightly she felt every sharp angle and ridge of his hard body.
In fact, she could feel everything.
She could feel the flush of heat starting to climb back to her face and she shifted, trying to see his face which he tucked into the curve of her neck, his breath moist and fast on her shoulder.
When she moved, she felt his hands tensed even more around her but she persevered. She stopped when she heard him hissed sharply. “Stop that.”
“Jake-”
He shushed her firmly.
She tried to wiggle an arm out but Jacob actually growled at her.
There was a rush of air and motion and she found herself freed, she craned her head and saw that Jacob was sitting on the floor beside the sofa. His shoulders still look tense, his arms even more so when he lifted them to rub his face.
Bella sat up and watched as he took great gulping breaths. “Are you all right?”
The look he sent her was accusing although his lips curved upwards. He shook his head and pushed his hair back from his face. “Charlie trusted me with you so I don't think he'd appreciate it if he walked in on us rolling on the floor.”
“We weren't on the floor.” She pointed out with mumble.
His eyes glowed in the muted light, his smile sly. “Yet.”
She slid her eyes away at his deep, low chuckle, embarrassed before his words sink in. “Wait. Charlie? You mean he's here? He's coming?” Mortified, she took a glance at the room, down on herself as if she could hide any evidence of what they were doing.
Jacob lifted an eyebrow. “Relax, he's still fifteen minutes away.”
“Well, don't just stand there. Here, wear your shirt. Put on your shoes.” She made a quick, panicky sound. “Where's your jacket?”
He rolled his eyes. “Rather than worry about me, you should worry about yourself. There's no way you could lie to him with how you look.”
She lifted worried eyes to him. “What? How do I look?”
“Like you just made out with me.” He snickered at her red face. “Go up, pretend you're asleep. I'll handle Charlie.”
Bella jumped to her feet and tried to gather the blankets but Jacob pulled them from her arms. “Go.”
She was halfway up the stairs before she glared at him from over her shoulder. “Stop it.”
He blinked innocent eyes at her from over the ball of sheets. “What?”
“Stop looking at me.”
His grin was slow and deliciously wicked. “You can't blame me for wondering. You're the one who keep teasing me.”
Her hands itched to push him down the stairs and as if he knew, he crowded her until she had no choice but continue walking, all the while she could feel his eyes on her back.
Her face was painfully blotched with red when she stood inside her bedroom, especially when he just stood there and sent a considering look at her bed.
Laughing softly, he nudged her to the bed and lifted her duvet, “Get in.”
“What, you're not joining me?” She snarked.
“Don't mind if I do.”
She couldn't help but smile even as she kicked him before snuggling inside her blanket. She glared at him when he touched the headboard of her bed, sighed and shook his head. “No, this won't do.”
“Will you shut up?”
“You can't kiss a guy like that and expect him to have clean and chaste thoughts when he sees you on a bed.”
She threw a pillow at him which he caught with ease and made of a show of fluffing before he sat beside her and put the pillow behind his back. He tipped his head against the top of hers and laced their fingers together, lifting them up for inspection.
She felt herself relax by inches by the touch of his fingers between hers. “I really don't know what to do with you, Jake.”
“Both of us love you, Bella, but you know what makes us different, beside the whole vampire and werewolf thing?”
Jacob felt her shake his head under his. “You gave him a chance. Twice.” He rubbed his cheek against his hair. “So give me mine. Love me, no holding back this time.”
She brought her other hand to their joined hands. “Why do you always have to step over the lines, Jacob?”
She could feel him smile even before she heard the chuckle.
“Because, Bella, honey, you keep moving them.”
She pondered about the truth of that until at the edges of sleep, she felt soft warm lips on her forehead and his voice whispering in her ear.
The answer was sleepy, almost a mumble but true and heartfelt. “I love you, too.”
No comments:
Post a Comment