There was a sharp sting on her cheek and light flooded her eyes once again. “Ow.”
Rachel’s voice was even when she said, “For God’s sake. Don’t faint on me.”
Bella heard a snicker, and knew it was Leah. She also heard a soft murmuring protest and knew it was Kim.
She should’ve known that Rachel helping her out would be too good to be true. Besides, why the hell would she?
Considering the situation, she had the right to dangle her from a tree by the ankles for stray vampires to chew upon. She blinked tears away from her eyes and saw Rachel frowning at her like she was a misbehaving child.
Her stomach still churned, and she still felt sick with guiltguiltguilt but the world was steady once more.
Her left cheek stung.
“If she faints again, can I slap her?” Leah asked Rachel hopefully. Jacob’s sister scowled at her but scowled even deeper at Bella.
“No one is slapping anyone.” Rachel’s no nonsense voice seemed loud and way too hard. “Leah, stop being such a bitch.”
“Can’t. It’s in my genes.”
Kim snickered but quickly pressed her lips together when Rachel rolled her eyes. “Jake’s a grown man, let him make his own choices.”
Bella, still a little dizzy, wiped her eyes and caught the look Rachel gave her.
“Let him make his own mistakes.”
Oh, ouch.
“And you.” Rachel speared an accusing finger at her. “Get over yourself. Leah embellished the story a little.
It was true that he was caught off guard so he froze for a second, unfortunately, a second was all the vampire need to rip at him, but that didn’t mean he just lied there, willing himself to die. It takes more than you to get Jake down, so don’t go on thinking you drove him to suicide or something.” Rachel grimaced in distaste. “We of all people, are not weak.”
Bella winced when she caught the look of amused disdain from Leah’s face that seemed to say, ‘we’re not, but you are’.
Rachel sighed deeply and crossed her arms in front of her chest, those dark eyes—so like Jacob’s—taking her in. “After that being said, I don’t like you, Swan and I probably never will. Something about you grates on my nerves, maybe it’s because you never seemed to know what you want while most of it is because you broke my little brother’s heart.” She narrowed her eyes on her, and Bella couldn’t help but straighten her back. Rachel shrugged. “But that couldn’t be help since you already made it clear that you were in love with the freakin’ vampire and in fact was ready to marry him. It was his own damn fault for not being able to let you go.”
Bella stared at Rachel in amazement but closed her mouth when her eyes flashed back to hers.
“But now you’re here. You sauntered into his life again out of your own choice.” Rachel’s eyes flashed and to Bella’s eyes she seemed taller somehow. “So, I’m warning you, Swan. If you break my little brother’s heart again, you better make it clean and fast, and you better not come back here again after that or so help me, wolves and vampires will be the least of your concern. Do you hear me?”
Bella nodded. Slowly. Her innards rioted even with that movement.
“Indicate that you hear me.”
“I hear you.”
Rachel kept watching her with sharp eyes before finally nodding and flicked a disinterest hand at her direction. “Go, before you barf on Jacob’s bed.”
Jacob’s bed and room was a blur before her eyes as she rushed to the bathroom, drop to her knees before the toilet bowl and hurled accompanied by Leah’s amused laugh.
“You’re mad at me for making her faint? You slapped her and made her throw up.”
“Guys, come on. Give her space, huh?”
Spent, she breathed hard against the toilet bowl, this time, the gentle but strong hands were Kim’s, she held back her hair and brushed her back with firm circular strokes. She gave her a glass of water and a spare tooth brush and clutching those two things to her chest, Bella gave a little cry.
She just couldn’t get over the fact that Jacob almost died and she could almost imagine getting that phone call from Charlie.
She spat out the minty toothpaste and washed out her mouth, tears plopping into the bathroom sink. And would she even know how he died? Certainly no one from the pack would tell her the true story, not if he did die that way. They would tell Charlie lies, and then Charlie would tell those lies to her and she would never know the truth.
That sudden thought ripped her heart even worst. She washed her face and rubbed hard with the towel that Kim gave her. She had to know. “Was that the only time?”
“What do you mean?”
Bella drew away the towel from her face and lifted damp eyes to Kim’s soft face. “Was there a lot of close calls? For Jacob? For the pack?”
Kim tilted her head, her chin length hair brushing one side of her cheek. “They all get injured, they all get wounded, that’s what they do.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Kim put the toilet seat down and sat. “That was a one time thing. The pack is very efficient, Bella.”
Bella wiped her face again, finding comfort in the rough texture of the towel against her raw skin.
“There another thing that you need to know.”
Her heart shuddered at the quiet tone of Kim’s voice, at the way Kim folded her arms on her lap. She should look ridiculous, after all, she was sitting on a toilet but she didn’t. She looked solemn, serious, regretful but determined.
OhGodohGod, what now?
“Bella,” she started tentatively. “What will you do when Jacob imprints?”
Bella didn’t know whether to wince at the question or of the loud sound of glass breaking from somewhere in the kitchen.
Sensing another round of emotional turmoil, Bella made do and slid herself to the floor. “What?”
“What will you do when Jacob imprints?”
“When not if?”
Kim’s thick lashes swallowed her eyes when she looked down on her hands before meeting her eyes again.
“It could happen. After Sam, Quil, Jared…The Pack never had so many of them imprint like this before.”
Her heart shuddered again, “But the Pack before Jacob’s Pack is mostly made out of four or three, right?
So when you think about it…the ratio is about the same, right?”
Kim nodded, slowly as if taking that into account. “It’s possible.”
“Jake said,” Bella cleared her aching throat when her voice wobbled. “He said, it won’t happen to him.”
God, she could almost hear the lost little girl inside her own voice and when Kim’s dark eyes landed on her face with that soft understanding look on her face she felt…all sorts of stupid.
What would she do if Jacob imprinted?
How would she feel seeing Jacob with another girl?
Heartbroken. Sick. Desperate.
Just imagining it made a part of her die a slow, painful death.
Seeing, knowing Jacob would wrap himself around another girl, building his world around her. Seeing that absolute loving expression that Sam always wore around Emily…
Bella couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t drive herself a little bit crazy.
Would I be like Leah? she wondered. Bitter and angry and lost?
Would it feel like when Edward left?
She jerked away when a warm hand reached hers.
Kim looked at her with a worried expression. “You weren’t breathing.”
And now that Bella noticed that her chest was aching, she sucked in a breath and leaned against the closet below the sink.
Kim stood and reached out her hand. “Maybe we should get you off the floor. Come on.”
Bella settled into Jacob’s bed and Kim wrapped a bright blanket in Quileute colors around her shoulders.
Rachel and Leah was nowhere to be seen.
Kim didn’t look surprised that they took off considering the topic and Leah’s sensitive ears.
The house was quiet except for the occasional creaking and Billy’s soft snore, when Bella settled her back on the pillows, she realized that Jacob’s room was roomier that the last time she was here, in fact, it was a vast improvement. And like the room in JEQ, the walls were lined with books and wood carvings.
“It helps with his control.” Kim offered when she noticed Bella looking. “They always have to be in strict control of their tempers and they have their own methods. Sam fixes his house, Seth helps his mother cook, Leah takes long solitary walks, some drive around, work out, Jared takes morning swims, Jacob fiddles with engines and carves wood. It’s a sort of meditation technique.” She shifted from foot to foot.
“Your vampires, Bella, you consider them good, worthy because they gave up human blood.”
Bella nodded, her eyes still on the rows and rows of carving, she even spotted a half done one, as if he left it there to finish later.
“But they lose control of themselves once or twice, don’t they?”
She tried not to get defensive but lost the battle. “It’s hard, what they do—“
“What Jacob and the pack do every day, every single second of their lives is also hard.” Kim reprimanded her softly. “And they can’t afford to lose control.”
Bella’s eyes flickered to Kim’s. “Your vampires, they’re solitary, they live in recluse. Yes, they mingle with humans but they don’t have roots in the community. We do, we live among humans, we have friends, family, cousins, and relations. We have a place, a status in the reservation, in Forks. They know us, they trust us. If something bad happens, if one of them lost even a minute of that tight control, what do you think would happen?”
Bella swallowed, picturing a rampaging werewolf in the tight, cloistered reservation, along with Emily’s ravaged face.
“We can’t just move, we can’t just sweep it under the carpet, we can’t go away and hope everyone would forget it.” Kim’s soft face settled into an expression that Bella never saw once before. “The Pack could never really let go, never really be free unless amongst themselves. They live their lives as if they are always under close scrutiny and they can never, ever slip.” She brushed her hair away from her face. “They have it hard, too, Bella. They just never show it.”
As if restless, Kim paced across the room, touching a finger to one carving after another. “So, we, who know their secret, we try to make it easier for them, to give them space, room to stretch—“
Bella frowned, not understanding the implication, the jump of topics and Kim’s odd choice of words. “I don’t understand.”
Kim sighed. “Don’t you see, Bella? They’re trapped here and imprinting is just another bar in the cage.”
Bella stared at Kim in shock. “But, but—“
Kim plopped herself on the edge of the bed. “Of course, Sam doesn’t feel that way. Or Jared or Quil for that matter. They’re happy and content but that’s how the imprinting functions.”
“I love Jared and he loves me.” Kim bit her perfectly curved lips. “But, what everyone tried to ignore was, if it wasn’t for imprinting, Jared would probably never have noticed me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
Kim gave a little smile. “Yes, it is. We’ve known each other for forever, I think we’re cousins seventh removed or something, we sat to each other in several classes but it wasn’t until he started to phase that he saw me.” She gave a chiding look when Bella made protesting noises. “I try not to lie to myself, Bella.”
Bella didn’t know what to say so she clamped her lips together, even when Kim gave a small shake of her head.
“The Pack might be wary of imprinting but once they did imprint, they…they’re happy.” Kim eyed her face in a disturbingly knowing way. “Jacob calls it the werewolf brainwash.”
Bella winced.
“Did Jacob explain about imprinting?”
Bella shrugged, wanting out of the conversation.
“It’s the wolf’s way of ensuring superpups.”
She sucked in a breath. “What?”
Kim burst into laughter. “Oh, Bella. Your face. Priceless.” She waved a hand as she settled down to giggles.
She grinned. “It’s the same with us humans, you know.”
“How?”
“The science of attraction is that we are attracted to other people that have a higher immune system than ours, right? It’s basically the same thing. You noticed that the girls are all Quileute, right?”
Bella thought back and nodded.
“The wolf inside them detects who would have the higher chance of preserving the werewolf genetic trait and wham. Instant soulmate.”
Bella eyed Kim and wondered why Kim didn’t look distress or upset.
“I’m happy, Bella. Jared’s happy. I might feel disappointed at first and guilty even but let me tell you, they’re not easy to live with either.”
Intrigued, Bella forgot all about her dismay and guilt, even her roiling stomach. “What do you mean?”
“Other girls worry about their boyfriends cheating or getting restless or go into strip bars.” Kim rolled her eyes. “I never have to worry about that but in exchange, I have to worry about him getting angry in public places, or his territorial streak, or every time he gets a call at night and slip out the door. Plus, there’s the laundry.”
Bella blinked. “The laundry?”
“They sweat, a lot. Especially in the winter because they have to cover themselves up like normal people and you know what a bitch it is to do laundry in winter. And I won’t even start about the mud and dirt that they track on the floor whenever they come home. Have you ever seen their feet after? Disgusting. And then there’s the food.”
Bella nodded, she understood about the food, having to cook once in a while for the Pack.
“And if they get cooped up one minute too long, they get antsy and snarly and really, really annoying. And in the summer, having them around you is a chore. They’re just so hot.” Kim gave Bella an impish smile. “In more ways than one.”
Bella’s mouth quirked up before she was reminded what they were talking about. “Is imprinting so absolute, then?”
Kim smiled, slow and a little bit sad. “Yes. It’s elemental, Bella. Basic. It’s up right there with instinct. When—if Jacob imprinted, considering he is also Alpha, his blood is the strongest, the thickest, the imprinting would hit him harder than anyone else.”
Bella swallowed, trying to wet her throat but her mouth was dry. “So, you’re saying that, it would be better for me to…leave?”
“No, I’m not saying it would be better. Easier, yes. And for Jacob, too.”
Kim must have seen the confusion on her face because Kim continued. “Of all the Pack members, Jacob was the most determined to fight back against the genetic control. He hated imprinting, the minute he went Alpha, he pushed Seth, Colin and Brady to go to college, to get work outside the rez, to well, to have a life outside of the Pack and the ‘werewolf crap’ as he put it.” Kim sighed. “If he imprinted he would fight against it, especially with you here. He wouldn’t stand for it, he couldn’t live with having the imprinting control him. He couldn’t deal with losing you all over again.”
“But I thought, once you imprinted you stopped loving anyone else? Wasn’t that what happened to Sam and…Leah?” Bella lowered her voice on Leah’s name and looked around anxiously.
Kim smiled softly. “Did you stop loving Jacob when Edward came back?”
Maybe it was the question. Maybe it was Edward’s name out of Kim’s mouth. Maybe it was just the whole strange situation but Bella’s brain simply froze. “I don’t…I don’t understand.”
Kim stood again and like before, she strolled towards the carving and plucked four carvings then handed it one to her.
It was a wolf, made out of a brown reddish color that almost matched Jacob’s fur. The wood was warm and smooth to the touch and it was so beautiful, it made her eyes sting. The wolf was standing on all fours on a cliff, its eyes looking far ahead as if it was trying to see something. Waiting. Expectant. She ran her fingers over the minute detailed surface, imagining Jacob’s hands carving, cutting, rubbing, smoothing. “It’s beautiful.”
“Look at the bottom.”
She blinked, her eyes flickered to Kim’s before flipping the carving over. What she saw made her heart caught in her throat.
September 19th 2012
22
“My birthday…”
Kim handed another one and her heart dove into her stomach at the sight of the second carving. It showed a girl with long hair, her back against a wolf’s side, a book in her hand. The wolf’s body curved around her, its head propped on its folded front paws. It showed safety, contentment and simple pleasures. This time, she didn’t need Kim to tell her to flip it over.
September 19th 2009
19
Bella’s hand stretched for the third carving that featured the same girl and wolf standing side by side on a cliff, her hand lost in the wolf’s fur, her shoulders straight, her posture spoke of pride and strength.
September, 19th 2010
20
The fourth spoke of peace, of comfort, of protectiveness with the girl sleeping on her side, half her body propped against the wolf that surrounded her with its body, its nose touching the forehead of the girl in a kiss.
September, 19th 2011
21
She leaned back when Kim made a move to take the carvings. “I think it’s supposed to be like this.” Kim shifted the carvings one by one according to the year it was made.
The wolf and the girl with the book.
The wolf and the girl standing on a cliff.
The wolf and the sleeping girl.
The wolf on the cliff, alone.
Kim’s eyes were sad when she set the single wolf at the end of the line. “He didn’t know you were dead or alive but he celebrated your birthday, remembered your age.”
Bella’s chest was heavy, her throat, her eyes, her face ached and her trembling hands hovered over the carvings but couldn’t seem to touch it.
“He would never leave you.” Kim whispered softly. “Even if he imprinted, he would never leave you. He would fight it, strain against it and when he did, it would destroy him.
Rachel’s voice was even when she said, “For God’s sake. Don’t faint on me.”
Bella heard a snicker, and knew it was Leah. She also heard a soft murmuring protest and knew it was Kim.
She should’ve known that Rachel helping her out would be too good to be true. Besides, why the hell would she?
Considering the situation, she had the right to dangle her from a tree by the ankles for stray vampires to chew upon. She blinked tears away from her eyes and saw Rachel frowning at her like she was a misbehaving child.
Her stomach still churned, and she still felt sick with guiltguiltguilt but the world was steady once more.
Her left cheek stung.
“If she faints again, can I slap her?” Leah asked Rachel hopefully. Jacob’s sister scowled at her but scowled even deeper at Bella.
“No one is slapping anyone.” Rachel’s no nonsense voice seemed loud and way too hard. “Leah, stop being such a bitch.”
“Can’t. It’s in my genes.”
Kim snickered but quickly pressed her lips together when Rachel rolled her eyes. “Jake’s a grown man, let him make his own choices.”
Bella, still a little dizzy, wiped her eyes and caught the look Rachel gave her.
“Let him make his own mistakes.”
Oh, ouch.
“And you.” Rachel speared an accusing finger at her. “Get over yourself. Leah embellished the story a little.
It was true that he was caught off guard so he froze for a second, unfortunately, a second was all the vampire need to rip at him, but that didn’t mean he just lied there, willing himself to die. It takes more than you to get Jake down, so don’t go on thinking you drove him to suicide or something.” Rachel grimaced in distaste. “We of all people, are not weak.”
Bella winced when she caught the look of amused disdain from Leah’s face that seemed to say, ‘we’re not, but you are’.
Rachel sighed deeply and crossed her arms in front of her chest, those dark eyes—so like Jacob’s—taking her in. “After that being said, I don’t like you, Swan and I probably never will. Something about you grates on my nerves, maybe it’s because you never seemed to know what you want while most of it is because you broke my little brother’s heart.” She narrowed her eyes on her, and Bella couldn’t help but straighten her back. Rachel shrugged. “But that couldn’t be help since you already made it clear that you were in love with the freakin’ vampire and in fact was ready to marry him. It was his own damn fault for not being able to let you go.”
Bella stared at Rachel in amazement but closed her mouth when her eyes flashed back to hers.
“But now you’re here. You sauntered into his life again out of your own choice.” Rachel’s eyes flashed and to Bella’s eyes she seemed taller somehow. “So, I’m warning you, Swan. If you break my little brother’s heart again, you better make it clean and fast, and you better not come back here again after that or so help me, wolves and vampires will be the least of your concern. Do you hear me?”
Bella nodded. Slowly. Her innards rioted even with that movement.
“Indicate that you hear me.”
“I hear you.”
Rachel kept watching her with sharp eyes before finally nodding and flicked a disinterest hand at her direction. “Go, before you barf on Jacob’s bed.”
Jacob’s bed and room was a blur before her eyes as she rushed to the bathroom, drop to her knees before the toilet bowl and hurled accompanied by Leah’s amused laugh.
“You’re mad at me for making her faint? You slapped her and made her throw up.”
“Guys, come on. Give her space, huh?”
Spent, she breathed hard against the toilet bowl, this time, the gentle but strong hands were Kim’s, she held back her hair and brushed her back with firm circular strokes. She gave her a glass of water and a spare tooth brush and clutching those two things to her chest, Bella gave a little cry.
She just couldn’t get over the fact that Jacob almost died and she could almost imagine getting that phone call from Charlie.
She spat out the minty toothpaste and washed out her mouth, tears plopping into the bathroom sink. And would she even know how he died? Certainly no one from the pack would tell her the true story, not if he did die that way. They would tell Charlie lies, and then Charlie would tell those lies to her and she would never know the truth.
That sudden thought ripped her heart even worst. She washed her face and rubbed hard with the towel that Kim gave her. She had to know. “Was that the only time?”
“What do you mean?”
Bella drew away the towel from her face and lifted damp eyes to Kim’s soft face. “Was there a lot of close calls? For Jacob? For the pack?”
Kim tilted her head, her chin length hair brushing one side of her cheek. “They all get injured, they all get wounded, that’s what they do.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Kim put the toilet seat down and sat. “That was a one time thing. The pack is very efficient, Bella.”
Bella wiped her face again, finding comfort in the rough texture of the towel against her raw skin.
“There another thing that you need to know.”
Her heart shuddered at the quiet tone of Kim’s voice, at the way Kim folded her arms on her lap. She should look ridiculous, after all, she was sitting on a toilet but she didn’t. She looked solemn, serious, regretful but determined.
OhGodohGod, what now?
“Bella,” she started tentatively. “What will you do when Jacob imprints?”
Bella didn’t know whether to wince at the question or of the loud sound of glass breaking from somewhere in the kitchen.
Sensing another round of emotional turmoil, Bella made do and slid herself to the floor. “What?”
“What will you do when Jacob imprints?”
“When not if?”
Kim’s thick lashes swallowed her eyes when she looked down on her hands before meeting her eyes again.
“It could happen. After Sam, Quil, Jared…The Pack never had so many of them imprint like this before.”
Her heart shuddered again, “But the Pack before Jacob’s Pack is mostly made out of four or three, right?
So when you think about it…the ratio is about the same, right?”
Kim nodded, slowly as if taking that into account. “It’s possible.”
“Jake said,” Bella cleared her aching throat when her voice wobbled. “He said, it won’t happen to him.”
God, she could almost hear the lost little girl inside her own voice and when Kim’s dark eyes landed on her face with that soft understanding look on her face she felt…all sorts of stupid.
What would she do if Jacob imprinted?
How would she feel seeing Jacob with another girl?
Heartbroken. Sick. Desperate.
Just imagining it made a part of her die a slow, painful death.
Seeing, knowing Jacob would wrap himself around another girl, building his world around her. Seeing that absolute loving expression that Sam always wore around Emily…
Bella couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t drive herself a little bit crazy.
Would I be like Leah? she wondered. Bitter and angry and lost?
Would it feel like when Edward left?
She jerked away when a warm hand reached hers.
Kim looked at her with a worried expression. “You weren’t breathing.”
And now that Bella noticed that her chest was aching, she sucked in a breath and leaned against the closet below the sink.
Kim stood and reached out her hand. “Maybe we should get you off the floor. Come on.”
Bella settled into Jacob’s bed and Kim wrapped a bright blanket in Quileute colors around her shoulders.
Rachel and Leah was nowhere to be seen.
Kim didn’t look surprised that they took off considering the topic and Leah’s sensitive ears.
The house was quiet except for the occasional creaking and Billy’s soft snore, when Bella settled her back on the pillows, she realized that Jacob’s room was roomier that the last time she was here, in fact, it was a vast improvement. And like the room in JEQ, the walls were lined with books and wood carvings.
“It helps with his control.” Kim offered when she noticed Bella looking. “They always have to be in strict control of their tempers and they have their own methods. Sam fixes his house, Seth helps his mother cook, Leah takes long solitary walks, some drive around, work out, Jared takes morning swims, Jacob fiddles with engines and carves wood. It’s a sort of meditation technique.” She shifted from foot to foot.
“Your vampires, Bella, you consider them good, worthy because they gave up human blood.”
Bella nodded, her eyes still on the rows and rows of carving, she even spotted a half done one, as if he left it there to finish later.
“But they lose control of themselves once or twice, don’t they?”
She tried not to get defensive but lost the battle. “It’s hard, what they do—“
“What Jacob and the pack do every day, every single second of their lives is also hard.” Kim reprimanded her softly. “And they can’t afford to lose control.”
Bella’s eyes flickered to Kim’s. “Your vampires, they’re solitary, they live in recluse. Yes, they mingle with humans but they don’t have roots in the community. We do, we live among humans, we have friends, family, cousins, and relations. We have a place, a status in the reservation, in Forks. They know us, they trust us. If something bad happens, if one of them lost even a minute of that tight control, what do you think would happen?”
Bella swallowed, picturing a rampaging werewolf in the tight, cloistered reservation, along with Emily’s ravaged face.
“We can’t just move, we can’t just sweep it under the carpet, we can’t go away and hope everyone would forget it.” Kim’s soft face settled into an expression that Bella never saw once before. “The Pack could never really let go, never really be free unless amongst themselves. They live their lives as if they are always under close scrutiny and they can never, ever slip.” She brushed her hair away from her face. “They have it hard, too, Bella. They just never show it.”
As if restless, Kim paced across the room, touching a finger to one carving after another. “So, we, who know their secret, we try to make it easier for them, to give them space, room to stretch—“
Bella frowned, not understanding the implication, the jump of topics and Kim’s odd choice of words. “I don’t understand.”
Kim sighed. “Don’t you see, Bella? They’re trapped here and imprinting is just another bar in the cage.”
Bella stared at Kim in shock. “But, but—“
Kim plopped herself on the edge of the bed. “Of course, Sam doesn’t feel that way. Or Jared or Quil for that matter. They’re happy and content but that’s how the imprinting functions.”
“I love Jared and he loves me.” Kim bit her perfectly curved lips. “But, what everyone tried to ignore was, if it wasn’t for imprinting, Jared would probably never have noticed me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
Kim gave a little smile. “Yes, it is. We’ve known each other for forever, I think we’re cousins seventh removed or something, we sat to each other in several classes but it wasn’t until he started to phase that he saw me.” She gave a chiding look when Bella made protesting noises. “I try not to lie to myself, Bella.”
Bella didn’t know what to say so she clamped her lips together, even when Kim gave a small shake of her head.
“The Pack might be wary of imprinting but once they did imprint, they…they’re happy.” Kim eyed her face in a disturbingly knowing way. “Jacob calls it the werewolf brainwash.”
Bella winced.
“Did Jacob explain about imprinting?”
Bella shrugged, wanting out of the conversation.
“It’s the wolf’s way of ensuring superpups.”
She sucked in a breath. “What?”
Kim burst into laughter. “Oh, Bella. Your face. Priceless.” She waved a hand as she settled down to giggles.
She grinned. “It’s the same with us humans, you know.”
“How?”
“The science of attraction is that we are attracted to other people that have a higher immune system than ours, right? It’s basically the same thing. You noticed that the girls are all Quileute, right?”
Bella thought back and nodded.
“The wolf inside them detects who would have the higher chance of preserving the werewolf genetic trait and wham. Instant soulmate.”
Bella eyed Kim and wondered why Kim didn’t look distress or upset.
“I’m happy, Bella. Jared’s happy. I might feel disappointed at first and guilty even but let me tell you, they’re not easy to live with either.”
Intrigued, Bella forgot all about her dismay and guilt, even her roiling stomach. “What do you mean?”
“Other girls worry about their boyfriends cheating or getting restless or go into strip bars.” Kim rolled her eyes. “I never have to worry about that but in exchange, I have to worry about him getting angry in public places, or his territorial streak, or every time he gets a call at night and slip out the door. Plus, there’s the laundry.”
Bella blinked. “The laundry?”
“They sweat, a lot. Especially in the winter because they have to cover themselves up like normal people and you know what a bitch it is to do laundry in winter. And I won’t even start about the mud and dirt that they track on the floor whenever they come home. Have you ever seen their feet after? Disgusting. And then there’s the food.”
Bella nodded, she understood about the food, having to cook once in a while for the Pack.
“And if they get cooped up one minute too long, they get antsy and snarly and really, really annoying. And in the summer, having them around you is a chore. They’re just so hot.” Kim gave Bella an impish smile. “In more ways than one.”
Bella’s mouth quirked up before she was reminded what they were talking about. “Is imprinting so absolute, then?”
Kim smiled, slow and a little bit sad. “Yes. It’s elemental, Bella. Basic. It’s up right there with instinct. When—if Jacob imprinted, considering he is also Alpha, his blood is the strongest, the thickest, the imprinting would hit him harder than anyone else.”
Bella swallowed, trying to wet her throat but her mouth was dry. “So, you’re saying that, it would be better for me to…leave?”
“No, I’m not saying it would be better. Easier, yes. And for Jacob, too.”
Kim must have seen the confusion on her face because Kim continued. “Of all the Pack members, Jacob was the most determined to fight back against the genetic control. He hated imprinting, the minute he went Alpha, he pushed Seth, Colin and Brady to go to college, to get work outside the rez, to well, to have a life outside of the Pack and the ‘werewolf crap’ as he put it.” Kim sighed. “If he imprinted he would fight against it, especially with you here. He wouldn’t stand for it, he couldn’t live with having the imprinting control him. He couldn’t deal with losing you all over again.”
“But I thought, once you imprinted you stopped loving anyone else? Wasn’t that what happened to Sam and…Leah?” Bella lowered her voice on Leah’s name and looked around anxiously.
Kim smiled softly. “Did you stop loving Jacob when Edward came back?”
Maybe it was the question. Maybe it was Edward’s name out of Kim’s mouth. Maybe it was just the whole strange situation but Bella’s brain simply froze. “I don’t…I don’t understand.”
Kim stood again and like before, she strolled towards the carving and plucked four carvings then handed it one to her.
It was a wolf, made out of a brown reddish color that almost matched Jacob’s fur. The wood was warm and smooth to the touch and it was so beautiful, it made her eyes sting. The wolf was standing on all fours on a cliff, its eyes looking far ahead as if it was trying to see something. Waiting. Expectant. She ran her fingers over the minute detailed surface, imagining Jacob’s hands carving, cutting, rubbing, smoothing. “It’s beautiful.”
“Look at the bottom.”
She blinked, her eyes flickered to Kim’s before flipping the carving over. What she saw made her heart caught in her throat.
September 19th 2012
22
“My birthday…”
Kim handed another one and her heart dove into her stomach at the sight of the second carving. It showed a girl with long hair, her back against a wolf’s side, a book in her hand. The wolf’s body curved around her, its head propped on its folded front paws. It showed safety, contentment and simple pleasures. This time, she didn’t need Kim to tell her to flip it over.
September 19th 2009
19
Bella’s hand stretched for the third carving that featured the same girl and wolf standing side by side on a cliff, her hand lost in the wolf’s fur, her shoulders straight, her posture spoke of pride and strength.
September, 19th 2010
20
The fourth spoke of peace, of comfort, of protectiveness with the girl sleeping on her side, half her body propped against the wolf that surrounded her with its body, its nose touching the forehead of the girl in a kiss.
September, 19th 2011
21
She leaned back when Kim made a move to take the carvings. “I think it’s supposed to be like this.” Kim shifted the carvings one by one according to the year it was made.
The wolf and the girl with the book.
The wolf and the girl standing on a cliff.
The wolf and the sleeping girl.
The wolf on the cliff, alone.
Kim’s eyes were sad when she set the single wolf at the end of the line. “He didn’t know you were dead or alive but he celebrated your birthday, remembered your age.”
Bella’s chest was heavy, her throat, her eyes, her face ached and her trembling hands hovered over the carvings but couldn’t seem to touch it.
“He would never leave you.” Kim whispered softly. “Even if he imprinted, he would never leave you. He would fight it, strain against it and when he did, it would destroy him.
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